Transcript

Jocko Underground: The Safety Protocol for Your Kids When They're On Their Own.

0:00 This is the Jonko Underground podcast number two twenty seven with Echo Charles and me. We are sitting here and we've got some questions from you all. And we're gonna provide some answers to the best of our ability, and perhaps at a minimum, we will provide some courses of action that can guide you. through whatever challenges you might be facing. In life.

0:19 Let's get to it. My teenage daughter and her boyfriend are attending a concert. At a state fair soon. This will be their first major outing without parents.

0:31 They'll be with a group of friends. Which gives me some reassurance, although I also know wisdom can disappear pretty quickly in a group of teenagers. I'm approaching this as a preparedness. And risk management exercise.

0:45 Beyond the basics of hydration, charge phones, and backup battery, I'm insisting on the following standards, which yes, I have already exhibited with our family. Um but could could be overlooked unnoticed or otherwise taken for granted. As a norm. in our family.

1:03 Okay, so here they are. Never go anywhere alone. That's one. Number two is never leave each Each other isolated. Number three, maintain an escape route.

1:14 Number four. Cover and move. Which is teamwork. Number five. Know where help is? Before you need it.

1:22 So for your perspective, I'm am I missing anything? Are there blind spots in how I'm thinking about this or anything you would change? In the guidance. Appreciate your help. Um well those are some good rules. Good start.

1:37 I hope she's been training Jujitsu. Uh if not, she should be started now, you know? Because that just provides a whole Uh Another level of Personal security for her.

1:47 Um and by the way, if you're one of these people that's like Hey. You can do a lot with the jujitsu. And as I tell You know, when I train females in jujuttu, especially from a self defense perspective

1:58 And you know, a hundred pound woman. is you know wondering if she can If she trains Jujitsu enough, she'll be able to defend herself from a two hundred and twenty five pound man. And the answer is

2:11 Usually no. But guess what? You can Make enough resistance. that it becomes problematic for the two hundred pound man. And at a minimum you can make things

2:23 More difficult. And perhaps those couple seconds. Ten seconds, seven seconds, fourteen seconds that it takes for a guy to get control. Is the seven seconds, ten seconds, fourteen seconds that a police officer or that someone sees it or that someone hears it? So that's why we're turning in Jiu Jitsu. A couple other things here.

2:43 A rally point, right? You're at a you're at a s you're at a fair scenario. What's a what's a rally point? If we get split up, something goes on, where are we gonna meet? Probably have one inside the fair area and one outside. Maybe it's the car, maybe it's a certain area by the car, something like that where hey, if we lose each other This is where we're gonna go. I'd probably have one inside the arena.

3:04 The secondary is like the car. And if For whatever reason, one that's not even the car. Further away f further away than the car. Maybe it's the you know, the the McDonalds up the street or whatever, some other rally point. Should also have an extraction point.

3:20 Right. For you and for them. So if something goes wrong. The boyfriend, whatever, he gets drunk. And starts acting like an idiot. She just Calls you. And she gets the hot extract.

3:31 From a certain point. She doesn't even have to say anything. She passes a pro word. Right. She pronounces a pro word. She says Dad

3:40 Cowboy, cowboy, cowboy. You go Stand by. And Whatever, you already have it timed out. Takes you twelve minutes to get to the fair. She already knows to go to the

3:50 The uh Entrance gate. On the right hand side, on the south side of the entrance gate, she's gonna be s that's where you're gonna be waiting for. Boom. So have an extraction po a pre designated extra extraction point primary and secondary. Also just the call me if you need me.

4:08 Right. If anything happens, give me a call. It's two o'clock in the morning, give me a call. It's ten o'clock at night, give me a call. Maybe some calm windows? This might be getting a little bit in the micromanagement territory, but since it's the first time. You know, she sends you a text every hour.

4:25 All good. Just a little all good. Little comfort zone. Right. Make sure everything's cool.

4:33 Do we have a loss of communications plan? So if you don't where she if You don't hear from her, where's she going? Sure she loses her phone. And where's she gonna go? She loses her phone, the dude freaks out, he throws her phone off the

4:48 Ferris wheel at the at the thing. She doesn't know she w doesn't want to Talk to him, she leaves. No comms. You have no comms with her. What are you gonna do? midnight. If I don't hear from you, at midnight I'm gonna be right here. That's what we're doing.

5:03 Here's probably the most important stuff. Don't do anything dumb. It's small. It's a small statement. But hey.

5:15 Sweetie, go have a good time tonight. Don't do anything dumb. Because she's gonna get an opportunity to do some dumb stuff. That's what that's what happens in your teenage years. There are

5:27 Dumb opportunities lined up! Lined up for you. And you wanna give her that last little Bit. Of

5:36 You don't hate, don't do anything dumb. And by the way. It's also infused with I trust you. That's where you're going.

5:43 I trust you. Hey. I know you're not hey, you know, I trust you. I know you're not gonna do anything dumb. That might be a good way to phrase it. I know you're not gonna do anything dumb'cause I trust you. Boom, that might be it. Just that simple little statement.

5:56 Because You have hopefully infused her with good values at this point. We're when dumb stuff gets presented to her, she knows the deal. maybe, you know, and hopefully you've had those talks with her about

6:10 things that she can do right now. That are dumb and will hurt her reputation. And hurt your family's reputation. You know, sometimes people

6:21 Sometimes people care about their own reputation. Sometimes we they keep They care about their families replication. Like Sometimes you don't want to let

6:29 Your teammate down? Sometimes some people don't want to let they'd rather not let the team down. Some people would rather not let themselves down. So cover both those bases. Hey, just remember the way you act. It impacts your reputation and it impacts our family's reputation.

6:45 So that way if if she's not really doesn't care about the family, cool, it's your reputation. If she doesn't really care about her reputation'cause she wants to have fun, cool, that's the family's reputation. Hopefully one of those lands properly. Um This is, you know, trustless and respect and influence and care, right? You've given her the trust. You're given her the trust to go there. You've allowed her to influence you. You you're showing her That

7:06 You respect her? And hopefully she has a good time. So I think that's what I would those are my little additions to the to the uh plan here. And Enjoy.

7:21 Uh I'm with this guy. Uh you know these these are strong ones and I'm I'm kinda looking to you for some cool additional ones, so thank you for that. Yep, check. My uh daughter is thirteen. Mm-hmm. So she's entering this zone. You know, she goes I feel like ours is like a Which I've found to be successful. That's the reason I'm sharing it. So so far, so good. There when she you know, she's thirteen now, so her radius of independent from the house or from wherever I am

7:52 That's actually the house. If we go somewhere else the radius is very way, way smaller. So it as she gets older and brews To be responsible, the radius just gets You know, bigger and bigger as the years go on. It's like kinda it, you know? Uh you know, in the meantime, I'm looking, I'm seeing who she's hanging out with, how her behavior acts like literally minute to minute. Cause you know sometimes friends can come over.

8:14 And I'm not gonna say this has not happened. So friends will come over and then oh I see a little bit of different behavior. For better or worse, by the way. Sometimes better. Sometimes I'm like mm, she's kinda like, you know. Little bit braver or a little bit more uh uh You know. Loosening up the

8:30 Maybe colouring outside the lines a little bit. You know? Well it usually starts in a fun way'cause I'm like that, so which is good. 'Cause could be worse, but you you know, paying attention to these things. Okay, when she hangs with Linda She's really polite. She's really, you know, they're trying to live up to a standard together. I like it, you know, kind of a thing,'cause Linda's squared away. But when Jenny comes over, you know, she's a little bit this, which is cool. We don't judge. Hey, we hey we all have different flavors of friends. I get it. But

8:57 I see how her behavior so now that radius with Jenny It's gonna be a little bit tighter, a little bit more monitored, you see what I'm saying? So it's kinda that. Um Yeah. I was Probably shockingly.

9:10 uh liberal with my kids and there What they were doing. Like I gave him all kinds of leeway. Yeah. Mm.

9:18 You know, with my girls I was a little bit A little bit more. But barely. Maybe my son I don't I don't think I said no to my son. To do stuff. No. I take that back. There was one time.

9:29 Oh I I told him, No, you're not doing that. Yeah. Uh yeah. Yeah. You remember what it was. Yeah, it was it was during the Covid George Floyd riots and protests and stuff. And he's like, Hey I'm gonna go down to the

9:43 Protests tonight. Mm. Like he he didn't have any like political He wasn't like I'm gonna go down there you know and support the police or go support the the the BLM. He was just going down there'cause shit was going down. You know what I mean?'Cause it's chaos. Yeah. And

9:59 The funny thing is when I was like oh n no you're not and he was like he he like Didn't understand what I was saying. And he's like, No, no, no, no. It's gonna be, you know, it's like it's like we're gonna uh going with this k kid and this kid and like we're just gonna go down and I was like no no no you're not. He's like no no No, it's it's it's tonight, you know. I was like nope.

10:16 And um I was like, hey. This is the situation. Where Someone can easily

10:25 Get killed. You can get wrapped up in doing something stupid. You can have something stupid done to you. You can get killed by a protester. You can get killed by a cop and I know you're just going down there to freaking experience Chaos'cause that's what a a young kid wants to do. Mm-hmm. You know oh, there's a mayhem going on.

10:44 You know? This is what, he must have been like around fourteen or something like that. But that was the only time where or maybe he was fifteen. I'm like, No, you're you're no actually you're not doing that. Because there's so much chaos in those riots and everything. When a riot like riots are not good scenario. So

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