Transcript

Why a Retreat Is Part of the Work, Not a Reward for It

0:00 Quick one first. There's a word we lost somewhere between the factory and the laptop. My new book is called Productivess. It's out in September. And Mike Vardy dot com slash productiveness.

0:12 Is where I'll tell you the day it's here. Okay. In we go. Create. retreats as rewards.

0:38 Uh You know If Since you work hard enough. Um, and long enough. Eventually you get

0:47 To have this kind of This kind of break. And I don't think of a retreat as a break necessarily either. The retreats that I take actually can be rather intense. Um, and that's because retreats aren't a reward for the hard work They're they're part of the work.

1:06 Uh It's not a trip. It's not a week off. Literally. I would say that that's the biggest problem in terms of the framing of this idea of a retreat. It's it's a reward. You get it because you've earned it.

1:22 I that is not the case. Uh you You just need and and you don't need to go on a trip or anything like that. Like I don't need to go off somewhere to do a retreat. We we literally, as I pointed out, did a retreat, a virtual three day actually more more like five days when you take into account the focus sessions that we do for them. We literally took

1:43 Uh several hours of a day. over multiple days. from the comforts of of where we are, our home, like my study, whatever. So you don't have to go anywhere, but you just need to step back.

1:56 And If If you treat a retreat as a reward for hard work Then it puts it at the end of the effort. And it's not going to serve you as well. It's it's outside the work.

2:08 It's contingent on having done enough. And that means most people feel that they've never really done enough to deserve one. I mean think about it. If you've You've probably heard of a retreat before, or you've seen people go on retreats or describe them or what have you. And

2:26 I know I felt this way. But in the back of your mind, like well I don't really need one. Or Well

2:32 The kind of work I do doesn't require one. That sort of thing. And I think a reframing. will help you realize that A retreat.

2:45 Actually Done properly, done well. Uh Conserve any calling, any vocation, any career.

2:56 And so You need to stop thinking of a retreat as a reward for hard work. It's literally part of the work. If I go on a trip I don't want to be working.

3:12 I want to be completely uh removed from it as much as possible. And again, as a writer There's always some kind of work going on in my head because there's a purpose behind it and so on and so forth. But Uh it's there's an identity wrapped up in it.

3:28 But There's a reason, for example. That Uh and yes, you could argue that this conference I'm going to uh next week uh is a is a work conference, so it's not so much of a retreat. But if if

3:42 If I was going away Or taking a retreat elsewhere, which I've done. I don't invite my My

3:50 My partner and and my kids or anyone to come along with me. That's not what it's for. So You know, this idea of

4:02 the military origin of the work. You know, again, to retreat is to withdraw in order to regroup. It's not really to surrender, but to reassess. It's it's a strategic move. And that's what we've lost. A retreat

4:18 Is not the same as Rest. A g I've found that when I've done a really, really solid retreat. That I'm I need a break when I get back from it. uh the deeper I've gone.

4:35 The More challenging it's been. Um, it's also revitalizing at the same. And there's a variety of ways you can do a retreat. I'm not telling you here how to do one necessarily either. I'm gonna give you some guidance and and the PDF definitely will do that. And there's lots of of ways to look my friend Mike Schmitz has built

4:53 Some retreat forms, my friend David Sparks has done the same. And each of them has their own different differences. The retreats that I do are built largely on the ready retreat that I've I've shared with my community. I just do it all in one.

5:06 Yeah, I basically dedicate a day to each phase. of this retreat, whereas we don't do it for as long of a time. But that's the point. Uh again I wanna I want to stress that The other thing that people think about retreats that is a a myth

5:21 Is that you actually have to leave go somewhere. You don't have to do that. I mean, I would argue that we've even gotten to the point where because remote work exists now and a hybrid work place exists now. You could Uh

5:35 the idea to go somewhere might be more appealing because you might be working from home. But If budgetary concerns are there. And they've been there for me in the past as well, where it's like, look, I can't afford to go away on a retreat. I'm just gonna close my door. I'm gonna block off several days.

5:52 And I'm going to that's what I'm going to do with that time. You don't need to leave where you are. You just need to step back. There are there are two kinds of retreat that I wanna kinda go through. So there's retreat as place and retreat as practice. And this is important.

6:09 So retreat is place is kinda like the getaway, the conference, like I talked about, the cabin. It's a physical removal. from your normal environment. So this is what most people associate. when they think of a retreat. It's you know, it's real and it matters.

6:26 But it's not always available. So it's The place where you go. isn't necessarily going to be available for you at any given time. Which is also part of the reason why you may not retreat.

6:40 Because If you can't go anywhere, then it's not really a retreat. So therefore I can't take a retreat or I can't have a retreat. So we're gonna break that because retreat as a practice is where things get different. It's

6:52 you know, a a a a regular stepping back. It could even be a daily stepping back, to be honest. Journaling is Into an and a reflective practice in some way, shape, or form, is the form of a retreat. It's it's a small version of it. It's a lot like And I remember reading the book.

7:09 uh Creative Quest by Quest Love, and he talks about micro meditations. And we hear about these long, lengthy meditation sessions, but he would do like thirty seconds. And just take some some time. And you've probably heard of this too. Uh I know when I've done some C B T uh cognitive behavioral therapy, the idea of box breathing or

7:27 Like those are forms of retreat. They're not as elaborate or as let's say Explicit. But they they They can't act that way. But it it's this idea of stepping back that doesn't require a airfare

7:42 Or uh hotel accommodation or a suitcase or any of that stuff. It's a protected period of time, could be an hour, could be several hours like we do in a radio retreat could be an entire day. We actually later this month

7:57 Um Inside the Time Crafting Trust community, we have what's called an if day. And what If stands for is immersive focus. And

8:08 Since not everyone in our community was able to do the ready retreat live. Let's say someone in the community is watching right now. That would be an ideal day to do The ready retreat. If you don't want if you have some other form of retreat. that's what that day could be for you.

8:25 Right. So it it could just be an entire day. But there are different kinds of like you g a walk leaving the house. Like there are lots of different ways to retreat that don't have to be as elaborate as deep as uh place oriented.

8:44 Uh, quiet mornings could be a form of a retreat for you. So there are two different ways to look at this. But regardless of how long You you take

8:58 regardless of the method that you use The thing that you need to take away is that the practice Із what makes the place Richer. Not the other way around.

9:13 And this parallel could be driven towards other things as well, like apps. If you're using an app for your your productivity or your to-do lists or what have you. If that app goes away. You can always find another app, but what you bring to the app, your framework, your practice. All the app is is a place for it to live.

9:53 A quick word about what I've been working on. I've written about productivity for most of my working life, and for most of that time I've been uneasy with the word. It measures output. It never asks what the output was for.

10:07 Or what it cost you. Or Whether you choose it again tomorrow. So I wrote a book about the word I'd rather use. It's called productiveness.

10:16 And it's out this September. There are nine principles for being a person who Who gets things done. without turning into a machine that does. If that sounds like something you'd want to read?

10:28 Mike Bardy dot com slash productiveness. We'll let you know when it's here. People who know how to step back in a small way. Mm. regularly.

10:56 They're gonna get more from it than the big massive ones. And and keep in mind, I think the other thing that that's worth noting is when you do travel away for a retreat. And and this is some just a a little bit of a sidebar. I think it's important. That you

11:16 Uh Also take in some of the place that you're going. There is we we we love novelty. As humans, so If we are in a place that we've never been before

11:29 Or and and Sometimes we go to the same place. I've done that before as well. uh or some place that's familiar. But

11:38 Novelty. does help because it breaks, you know, it it can break that spell, that pattern. Um And so I know that when I've done retreats where I've gone to a place Uh I have

11:51 dedicated periods of time to do the work and then I've dedicated periods of time to get out and explore what's around. Yeah, I've been fairly flexible with the amount of time in each of those

12:05 Parts so uh because I've I've cleared my entire calendar. So You could Spend you could be very

12:14 you know, prescriptive and say I'm gonna spend eight hours actively retreating in the remainder of my time Exploring the area. Or you could divide it differently, or you could just play it by ear and take more frequent breaks. That's the great thing about a retreat is again it's that meshing of practice and place. And

12:33 If you're doing it from your your home. definitely leaving the home uh during periods of time when you are taking this form of a retreat, big or small. Is helpful because Uh I can tell you that I've also noticed when I'm here doing a retreat inside of here.

12:49 I will find other things to do to avoid the harder work that might be associated with the retreat. That's often why people will go away. Is they they won't get distracted. So

13:02 Uh again. this immersive kind of experience, this practice is what you're looking for. And and place can give it to you. Now summer's a natural Place. Th there's a permission to do this.

13:15 Because You know, uh there is this propensity that things kind of slow down. You've got holidays happening, um the weather is nice. So The pressure is Typically.

13:30 Lower. Later schedules. Longer evenings. This kind of cultural exhale. Um

13:40 But The kicker is is that These kind of permission structures don't They don't create the retreat.

13:51 Intention does. So Going back to what I was talking about off the top. If you can't break Through the bias that

14:04 Retreats are not rewards, but they're For work, they are part of the work. you're going to have a really hard time. Uh

14:16 with this permission season that we're in, this permissive season that we're in. Because Your intention is Lacking. It's not supported by

14:27 What you need. And I can tell you that We do this virtual retreat inside our community. Upwards of three times per year. And it is one of the more valuable

14:40 aspects of our community. Because Uh there is a regular cadence to them. In fact when people are kind of mapping out

14:50 what they plan to do,'cause that's what the ready retreat is really about. It's about getting ready for the season ahead. is they will actually use the next ready retreat as their boundary for how far ahead they'll plan. So that way Every time they do a ready retreat, they do this kind of seasonal

15:07 Mapping Of sorts. So You know, y you can have an annual retreat, you can have a semi annual retreat, whatever you need to do, but there are ways to do it. You just need to recognize and break past that myth that number one It's not

15:24 A reward for hard work. It is part of the hard work. And number two. You don't need to go anywhere to do it. because it's the practice that brings everything to it.

15:35 The place is just essentially a container for it. So What would a retreat look like for you? For an hour.

15:46 If you took an hour. Just kinda do it. A morning, a day a week, maybe every morning, a a morning over the course of an entire week. What what is interesting? Mm. Is that

16:05 It's it's the combination, and this is what Being productive is. Being productive is the The active link between intention and attention. And that's w how you make a retreat work well.

16:17 is your intention and then the boundaries are essentially the framing that's the attention. So If you are attending something like the ready retreat. th those boundaries are built in for you if you're doing it live. There go. your intentions and attention are aligned with that's built in for you. If you do it on your own, and some some in our community have had to do that.

16:38 then you have to set up that at that boundary yourself. And There is a momentum to this kind of retreat process. So I would recommend

16:50 that if you are going to look at a kind of retreat Experience. that you try to make it as memorable, like as easy to latch onto for yourself as possible. So again Maybe the mornings over the course of an entire week. Uh could be again

17:06 Um Mm. One entire week. It could be I do this every Friday.

17:13 And so it becomes this pattern'cause the brain loves patterns. So you want to create a pattern for this. And that's really key. a number I keep coming back to. I came home from a week away to one hundred and twenty six

17:44 Emails. Like important emails. A few minutes later, five were left, and those five were the only ones that actually needed me that day. That isn't in box zero.

17:57 Inbox zero is a game you lose by lunch. This is a system I call three male sort, sweep, settle. And it rests on one change. Your folders stop answering what is this email? And start answering

18:11 When does this email need me? Once your inbox can answer that question, ten seconds a message is plenty. A customer put it better than I can. For the first time in a long time. I actually feel in control.

18:26 I'm talking about the ten second inbox. It's a short course. Takes an afternoon to set up. And then years of use. Get it today.

18:35 at Mikevardy dot com slash ten second inbox. Mike Vardy dot com slash ten second in box. That's one zero. Second inbox. kind of get into the the the tail end of this there is

19:09 Issues that a lot of people have is Once they break through the bias of All right. I don't Hm. I d I I don't

19:17 I don't have to Just get a retreat when I've the work is done. It's part of the work. And then oh okay, I could do it from wherever. It's more about the practice. The next

19:28 Kind of roadblock or a piece of friction. Is okay, how do I do it? And so what I've done is this is where this free resource comes in for you. So it's called the retreat map. And it's six ways.

19:43 To step back with intention. And make the most of the space that you create because It's again. If you think about what I've talked about, it's not just the time you set aside, but it's the space you create. So it's time and space. And John Cleese has this great talk about

20:00 In order to do truly great work, you need a comp and he he speaks about creative work. And there is a creative component to this. You need Uh both time and space. If you have all the time in the world but no space like a container to hold it. then you're gonna get drift.

20:17 uh you will procrastinate you will Uh You will delay. If you have All the space in the world, but no time.

20:29 It'll be rushed. And quality will suffer. Quality will suffer on both accounts, but you'll you'll feel rushed. If you have l little time, but A ton of space. Um, plus you'll try to figure out what space to put it in, which then

20:46 delays and so it it's it's equal There needs to be a balanced measure of time and space here. So Let's talk about a couple of them here and I've got them uh

20:58 Just to give you a sense of See here. So here's the retreat map here, and I've got it on my iPad, so Can see it's just a printout right here. So I'll go over a couple of the things.

21:15 So Let's start with the first one, the permission problem. Most people wait for external permission to step back. Say a deadline lifts, a season changes. Uh someone gives them a week off, but a retreat is something that you declare.

21:28 It's not something that you wait for. So there's a thing to try here. Name one thing you've been waiting for permission to step back from, and then give yourself that permission now. And write it down. I would print off this sheet or, you know, import it into some place where you could use a uh I mean I've got it in preview on my iPad.

21:47 But you could use whatever you want. And you can make notes on it if you want. Uh let's move to a scale misconception. Uh that's number four. A retreat doesn't require a week, a flight, or a mountain. It requires a boundary and an intention.

22:00 twenty minutes with the phone in another room can be a retreat if you treat it like one. And interestingly inside our Time Crafting Trust community, we have What are called uh focus fix sessions and we do them twice

22:14 Daily. Uh weekdays. So there's an hour. In each of those sessions. Where

22:23 It's protected time. So you could use one of those. If you're a member of the community or you become a member of the community, you could use those as a place to retreat. Depending on your time zone, if it makes sense to you. Uh

22:37 So one of the things it says to try here is to design a micro retreat for this week. One hour, one boundary, one intention, no agenda. Start there. And then of course there's the uh the the reentry problem's an interesting one. So that's number five. Most retreats fail. На і на степінь бак. But in the return.

22:57 And that's why we do the ready return here. Uh in June as well. Because the return isn't just about coming back into the quote real world. But it's also about not losing sight of the things that you set.

23:12 those intentions that you set during the retreat. That's what the rate of return is mostly about to make sure that you can course correct in case there's been some drift. And that's exactly what we talk about here. You come back and then it's immediately gone. So you come back into the war you know, and I've seen this happen before. I've been to

23:28 Events, conferences. Where You're immersed in the energy of the event. You're immersed in everything that's going on. And then you go back to quote the real world. And all of the sudden it's just

23:43 Is if you never left. And There was a conference in particular that I would go to regularly. Uh over a number of years in Portland, Oregon, called the World Domination Summit.

23:55 And It happened. I went to Almost all of them. And

24:02 Other than the last year, which was disrupted by the uh Covid nineteen pandemic. Um What I noticed Is And again, this is nuanced to a degree because I can say that there were certain things I didn't take advantage of by going away. I would I would go into these

24:19 events and say, I'm gonna definitely do this and I come back and get caught up in things. But for the most part I think I did a pretty good job of kind of carrying things over from From that event.

24:32 Ah, but I think Like there were a number of people. That Instead of it becoming a retreat, it became an escape. And that's different.

24:45 Um It can be like role playing to a degree, I guess. This is the life I I I want to have, but I don't have it. So this'll be what I do for this week and then I'll go back and And that's fine. That's fine. I mean

25:01 You could argue that Burning Man is like that to a degree, right? Um Because I It there are there are interesting things and I I'm side tracking here, but There are

25:12 There are things that you assume about people and then when you find out the things that they enjoy doing or they like to do, again, Burning Man would be a there's lots of people I know that went to Burning Man that I would have no sense that would go to Burning Man. There are lots of people that went to this conference, the World Domination Summit. That's I would I was

25:30 I wouldn't say it was surprise because I got to know them, but Mm. Um It definitely didn't necessarily fit the work that they were doing outside of it. So

25:42 Whether you're in that category or whether you're in you are immersed. I mean that's one of the Interesting things about going to this kit. Uh conference, crafting commerce. Is

25:54 For that entire week, I'm going to be immersed. In Not only basically in the creator world. you know, especially a platform like Kit that I use. Uh Which interestingly

26:07 Right after I'm done here today, I have to correct something that happened with Kit that I So again It just highlights the fact that I need to spend more time learning this. So that this immersive nature of that. Is is I'm stepping back from everything else so I can immerse myself in that. But I'm

26:22 I'm there a little bit longer so I can carry over the residual effects of being in that space so I don't lose sight of it. And that's the thing, when you re enter A retreat without a reentry plan?

26:35 It's just a pause. And pauses are fine. We need To take pauses. But

26:43 A retreat is not Not a pause. Again, if it was then your The argument the myth.

26:52 that the retreat is A reward for the work would be Mostly accurate. But it's not. It's a stepping back.

27:03 You're still engaged to a degree. But it's still part of the work. So it's not a pause as in I'm I'm again it's not an escape. So The practice part of the practice is, and this is why the practice matters more than the place. is protecting what

27:25 happen during the treat, making sure it's protected when you bring it back. So taking notes. Um One thing I actually think would be interesting to try. Just thought about this.

27:39 Would be And we have the technology. We have the technology. uh is to Film yourself.

27:48 During the retreat process, like at the end of every day. I think like j uh you If you've been following my work for a while, you know that reflective practice is a big part of what I what I share.

28:01 And I think that if you were to Uh not just handwrite journals, because those are powerful, but there's something about the connection of the emotional component of when you're in that place and you're retreating, there's a presence there that

28:20 You can really see. With someone? And you could see it in yourself. So when you're in a retreat, maybe this is a something to try is at the end of the day. Just make a short video.

28:32 Of yourself, like a video journal. And and how things are going and what you intend And see that emotion. Like You don't need to share it online.

28:45 Just Keep it to yourself. can even just record the audio if you think that would work well. But that That could be the thing to do. That will help galvanise it so that when you do come back

28:56 That you've got this greater sense of resolve. to see it through. Thanks so much for taking the time to join me here today. And uh until next time, stop doing productive and start being productive. We'll see you later. Before you go.

29:17 My inbox went from one hundred and twenty six important messages to five. In just minutes. And the ten second inbox is how? Get it at Munkbardy dot com slash ten second inbox. Thanks for listening.

29:31 See you later.