Most Replayed Moment: Your Excuses Will Destroy You, To Be Disciplined Is To Be Free!

Transcript from https://podmenti.com/t/50afb6298467d68e

Uh
Nineteen years old, you applied to be a Navy SEAL. Mm-hmm.
Okay, so
I have to ask a very dumb question here, which is what is a navy seal?
So
There's
Special operations which I guess you know, f from England this is the
The the SAS and the SBS. So those are the two sort of
Unit that we get.

And
Uh so a Navy SEAL is it part of the Navy, but you're the special operations.
component of the Navy.
And the the term seal
Is actually an acronym.
Which stands for S, Air, Елан, because
Even though we're in the navy
We are trained.
To operate
In the sea. In the air. So in the sea meaning we dive
In the air, meaning we parachute and repel, and then on the land meaning we conduct land warfare operations.
And you take all those things, combine them together.
And that's what our job consists of.
I was under the assumption that to become a Navy SEAL or to be in the SAS you had to have
Ten, twenty years.
in of military service. You had to have like an established military service. And then you get some like pop up on your computer and it says like come to this this building over here.
And so to hear that you applied at nineteen years old, I was like, Oh, I didn't know teenagers could apply. Yeah, no, I I was eighteen years old when I joined the Navy and I joined on a contract that
got me sent to SEAL training and it took a year to get through so I was
Nineteen when I finish that up, but
There is there's always debates about
Well
Don't you want someone that's more experienced?
And
I actually love the fact that I was basically raised
in the SEAL teams. It w it was just awesome. It was an awesome way to grow up. It was an awesome way to spend those those years of your life
Learning the trade that you wanted to learn.
And so I I thought it was awesome and I think it worked out pretty well. There is a
Usually
The the
Percentage of people that make it through SEAL training is about twenty percent.
People that are under the age of twenty
It goes down to about five percent.
So
Yeah, I was one of those like
Small percentage of people that are very young but still make it through.
And what what is the characteristics that they're ultimately testing with the design of that training? What are they testing for?
Will you keep going?
In the face of
Whatever.
Well they they call the uh one of the weeks Hell Week, don't they? Mm-hmm.
So they try and simulate.
Hell by the sounds of it. Yeah.
They try and simulate how it's it's
They actually were trying to simulate combat initially when they created that weak
They wanted to take
As much
Combat.
simulation from World War Two at the time and put it into a very compressed schedule so they could
Create
these frogmen to go overseas and conduct operations'cause World War Two was going on, and so they needed to compress the training cycle. So they compressed a bunch of that combat simulation into
It's about five and a half days.
No sleep.
Lots of physical activity, lots of stress.
Lots of pain.
And lots of people quit.
How many people quit?
In that particular week.
I would say most of the people that quit.
Probably
Of of
It's pr probably eighty percent of the quitters quit.
In that week.
It's been long discussed. I think there's a book.
um call Grit where they discuss what it
Takes
In terms of
character traits to
get through these kinds of endurance tasks. And people often think it's those that have the biggest muscles or
I do the most, I don't know, cardiovascular exercise.
But from what you've observed, and this is maybe a broader point about adversity in life.
Is there any similarities in the people that are able to get themselves through
Adversity.
It it's there's there's some
Internal
Drive.
That you either have or you don't have.
And if you have it.
You won't quit.
And if you don't have it
You're gonna quit.
And it breaks people. The other thing is you might be an exceptional swimmer.
And you might be exceptional.
Upper body strength, but you're not that fast of a runner, they're gonna find that out.
Or you might be a fast runner, but a bad runner. They're gonna find out what your weakness is.
You might not like the cold. They're gonna see it.
You might not like the boat on your head. They're gonna see it.
They might see that you have a bad temper. They're gonna find that and they're gonna pick at that thing.
Two.
IDE make you
Come out the other side.
Or make you quit.
It's a pretty it's a pretty amazing
thing. It's a pretty it's a pretty amazing thing. It's a pretty profound thing to look at from the outside and and and see it. Cause when I was going through it,
It was just sort of
I was young.
I didn't care.
I was gonna do it.
There was nothing that they were gonna tell me.
That was gonna make me quit. I never thought about quitting.
If they told me to get back in the water again, let's go.
They want me to
Put that log on on my shoulder. Let's go.
Put the boat on my head. Let's go. I I
I didn't care.
Can you teach that that let's go.

We're gonna go jump back in the water. Let's go.
I think that
I think that's one of the few things that you learn in basic SEL training.
Is to shrug your shoulders.
And
Go forward.
Like uh one of the things they do is
They'll they'll line you up on the ocean.
And this is in California, and sometimes people think that California
Is
Nice warm water, but it's not. It's fifty five degrees and I don't know what that translates to in centigrade, but it's cold.
And one of the things they do is they'll they'll line you up
And they say interlock arms and you
Get arm in arm with the guy next to you and they say forward march and you walk march in the water and they say take seats and you sit down.
And they leave you in there.
And it's called surf torture.
And you just sit there.
And they'll
After a while, they'll pull you up out of the water, they'll line you up.
And the doctor will come down and see if anyone has hypothermia.
And if no one has hypothermia or signs of hypothermia yet?
Get back in the water.
And they they just keep doing that.
So
Yeah, it's uh y what you learn to do is
Okay.
I'm gonna go forward. There's no
I can't get out of this.
I'm gonna go forward, I'm not gonna quit, so I'm gonna go forward.
Bring it on.
And I think if there's anything that you learn
It's too
Two
Keep pushing.
Through things that suck.
And I would love to say like oh some
Keep pushing through adversity, but this isn't adversity. This is just things that suck. It's one level below.
Adversity. Adversity is when you're having a challenge. This is just something that's gonna suck.
And you're gonna have to push through it.
You talked about the role that
having a Y plays.
And I was thinking about, you know, if I just
If I just lost my girlfriend or someone I'd gone through some severe rejection, or someone in my life had died and
Their part my parting promise to them was I was gonna do this.
The role that having some kind of reason to carry on plays in
How we handle adversity or things that suck.
Did you see have you seen any patterns in that? Is it important? Because there's books behind me that literally say start with your Y and
Those kinds of things. Yeah.
And
You know that's a
Anything from
Oh, my girlfriend dumped me and I'm gonna prove her wrong?
to something that much more significant, which is
My girlfriend died and I told her I was gonna do this and I'm gonna do it for her.
Both those things.
Depending on the human being.
Can be a strong enough.
Oh, strong enough wide to get through. And I've
I
I have
Friends?
That were
I have one friend that was in the Vietnam. He was in Vietnam.
And when he showed up SEAL training he didn't know what it was.
He thought he was volunteering to be like a diver.
A a diver that would do construction under under boats.
He thoughts that well that that what it was, and so he showed up and they're like, This is SEAL training. He's like, What's a seal?
And they kind of explain it to him.
And then he went and made it through.
All that torture, all that mayhem.
And
Why?'Cause
That was what they were telling to do and he was Okay, that's what we're doing.
Let's go.
So again.
I would love to be able to
You give you this profound anchor that people need to have.
But it's like oh d do you want to do this or not?
Which is what I think a lot of it boils down to. Do you actually want to do this or not?
Do you actually want to do this or not? Cause if you actually want to do it.
What's gonna stop you? Nothing.
And if you don't really want to do it
What's gonna stop you? Just about anything that comes up.
Just about any obstacle that gets in your way becomes an excuse.
It becomes a reason, it comes a rationale for not proceeding down that path.
And and and this is interesting too. You
When you talk to people that went to SEAL training that didn't make it
Most of the time.
It's
Some reason.
There's a
Medical reason. There's a
family problem.
There's very few people that look at you and say, Oh, I quit because it sucked.
Which is what, by the way, which is what happens to the vast majority of people. The vast majority of people that don't make it through SEAL training.
And by this I mean
Eighty, ninety percent of the people that don't make it through SEAL training, they didn't make it through
Because
They quit.
Then there's a small percentage that had a medical problem and then there's a small percentage that got performance dropped.
Meaning they couldn't perform
The runs, the swims, the
The
the technical aspects of the job and they failed and they get dropped.
But the vast majority of people, they quit.
Uh
They don't usually say that.
And even in their mind, they probably don't believe it.
They probably believe, well, you know, it was my leg and once my leg was hurting, I knew I was gonna have a hard time on the runs and since I wasn't gonna be able to make the runs, I just that's why I quit. But it wasn't really quitting, it was'cause my leg.
So it's it's it's like I said, it's a very it's a very strange
And and and and really kind of a a mystical thing.
Excuses.
You're talking there about people making excuses.
What have you come to learn about the nature of scuses and
If they are our friends, our enemies, if they're ever useful
Your excuses will
destroy you and take everything that you ever wanted from you.
If you let them.
Doesn't sound like a friend.
It's definitely not a friend.
It it can seem like a friend, just like your friend that
Uh keeps feeding you drinks at the bar can seem like a friend.
But are they really helping you in any way, shape, or form? No, they're not.
They're not. So when you when your excuses make you feel a little bit better.
About the fact that you didn't
Execute on what you needed to execute on?
Then they can make you feel better.
But they're not helping you.
They're not helping you at all.
Is that when you th when you think about extreme ownership, which is the title of um
This book here in front of me.
Is our excuse is the opposite.
Excuses and blame. Is that the opposite of extreme ownership? That is the opposite of extreme ownership.
Extreme o extreme ownership is
This went wrong.
This
Failed.
Didn't accomplish this.
And it's not
The fault of my boss, it's not the fault of my girlfriend, not the fault of my parents.
It's not the fault of the weather, it's my fault.
And I'm gonna take ownership of it and I'm gonna fix it.
That's what extreme ownership is.
And this is
A very difficult thing to do because it hurts.
Because when you look around at your life
And you look around at your job and your financial situation and your relationship and your physical health. And when you look at all those things.
And all the problems that you may have with those things.
And you say the reason I have all those problems
Is it because of me?
That can hurt.
That can sting.
And a lot of times our ego
Rejects that.
And makes excuses and lies.
And then
We don't have to change anything.
And then nothing changes.
If someone was on the extreme end of that
Disease of excuse and blame and all of those things. Is there anything that you could do or you would advise them to do
To kinda walk back from there.
to get over the other side. Because I think we can all think of people in our lives. And maybe even ourselves at times.
Who have gotten into a chronic pattern.
Of using excuses and blame as a form of self defense.
Because we don't want to turn that mirror.
back at us and have to confront reality. Like I think sometimes
If I think about my some of my closest friends
Those that have the lowest self esteem.
Well you use exc excuses and blame the most because it's
Yeah.
Personal responsibility.
Might not
In the short term, at least do anything for my already low self esteem.
So I'm gonna blame the world as self defense.
What's step one to get out of that?
Well, unfortunately, what happens a lot
And
You you may or may not have seen this, but I I would assume you've seen this at some point in your life.
People
And this is a term. There's a term it's rock bottom.
But this is a term that we hear for someone that's addicted, someone that's an alcoholic, someone that's
Physically
let themselves go, someone that's put themselves into a a situation with their finances or their work or whatever where they reach rock bottom.
And that that rock bottom
What happens is you've
Yeah.
I believe what rock bottom is.
is as you look around, all the excuses that you've made they're not there anymore.
And so now
What rock bottom is you realize that this problem
Whether it's alcohol, whether it's your finances, the problem is you.
Normally or hopefully in the best case scenario.
Rock bottom.
Is the beginning of the upward climb.
The upward path.
Sometimes rock.
Rock bottom leads to
Disaster.
And
Complete abandonment of hope.
But when it when it
When the excuses all go away.
And people can actually confront the fact that
This is all because of me?
And
This is
It hurts.
But is also unbelievably empowering.
Because
If these problems are because of me.
And I'm
Capable.
Of fixing these problems.
So even though extreme ownership
Hurt's and is painful, it's also liberating.
Because now you have control over your fate.

And that is a glorious thing.
Discipline is freedom.
The title of your um
Your book here.
Discipline equals freedom. Now that seems like it's
Untrue because
When people think of discipline, they think of rigidity and con and it taking away their freedom, having to be disciplined.
Why is why does discipline equal freedom?
Because the more discipline you have in your life, the more freedom you will end up with.
So if you
Lack the discipline.
Two
Exercise.
And eat healthy.
You will end up being
A slave to disease.
If you lack the discipline
Two
Work hard.
Save your money.
You will end up
A slave
to finances.
If you lack the discipline
To
Manage your time correctly.
You will end up with no free time.
If you have
Self discipline.
If you have the discipline to
Save your money and work hard and
Invest your money properly.
If you have the
Discipline to
Manage your time correctly and not waste a bunch of time if you have
the discipline to exercise and eat healthy, you will end up with freedom.
And it's I know it's uh counterintuitive, it's contrarian.
But
I've
Seeing this over and over and over again.
If you want freedom in your life.
You have to have discipline.
There's gonna be some kid listening to this now. I always think about the personas that are listening.
And they are, you know, eating
Doritos off their belly. Spit'em out.


Bit'em out. Start now.
Because if you're a kid right now and you're eating dirty just off your belly
I know they taste good and there's some immediate gratification.
And I get that.
But I'm gonna tell you it starts right now.
Throw that bag of Doritos away.
Get rid of it.
Go do some push ups.
Go.
Spend twelve dollars at the hardware store and hang up a pull up bar in your room.
And start doing pull ups and if you can't do one pull up, hang on that bar.
And you're gonna start to get a little bit stronger.
You can start to get a little bit healthier.
You start to get more focused.
You can start to
Become more resilient.
And you're gonna start to be able to do a pull up and you're gonna start to
Eat healthy all the time.
And you're gonna start to understand the world better.
And you're gonna start to
Progress.
In every aspect of your life.
And you'll see that if you have that kind of discipline right now.
You're gonna end up with freedom.
And if you don't have that kind of discipline
And you keep eating those Doritos?
And you don't work hard.
And you don't exercise
And you don't
Apply yourself.
You're gonna end up
You're gonna end up shackled.
You know, shackled by
A boss?
That you don't like doing a job that you don't like to do.
With
sicknesses and diseases that you don't want
Relying on
People that
You can't even count on.
Alone.
And you don't have to.
But if you have discipline.
You have discipline.
You will attain freedom.
And it starts with just spitting the Doritos out.
Starts with spitting the Doritos out.
Yes indeed.
Yeah.
One of the things you do, which is yeah, I mean you're super famous for it.
Is this idea of waking up early. Now I'm not someone that wakes up early.
I know you no alarm clock and you're usually up by eleven. Okay, got it. So I I stay up
Quite late. Yep.
Um
What's the best case you could give me for changing that?
And do I need to change that? Because I what I what I do is you know, I flew into LA, I'm jet lagged, I'm flying back in a couple of days, I'm gonna be jet lagged when I land as well. So what I'm trying to do is just protect my sleep at all costs because I've come to learn that it's really the foundation of my performance. So if I if I'm unslept and I show up at work.
The chance that I'm not gonna show up correctly.
In a variety of ways.
Emotionally, creatively, whatever.
is high and that for me is the greatest risk.
Yeah. So I just I've i in the last sort of year or two of my life I've just said okay.
Part I sleep.
Because then everything else seems to follow.
But when I heard that you wake up sometimes at four forty five or four thirty.
Like w pretty much all the time. And you I've literally seen you on social media upload your
Your alarm clock.
Day after day after day. Okay.
Shit, maybe I.
Should we think.
No, I think.
If you're if you've got a system that's working well for you.
And
Then I wouldn't change anything.
Right. If you feel like you're performing well, you're physically healthy, you're getting all the work done that you need to
Do
You're a
Naturally more of a a late night.
Late morning type person.
I'd run with it.
It's
If you were telling me, Yeah, sometimes I get up, sometimes I don't, sometimes I work late, sometimes I don't, I'm not don't work out every day.
You know, sometimes I feel groggy. If you were telling me that kind of thing, I'd say, Okay.
Pick a time.
And start waking up at that time every day.
Doesn't have to be four forty. It could be eight o'clock, could be seven o'clock, doesn't matter.
Could be eleven o'clock.
But
Try and go to bed around the same time.
And try and wake up around the same time.
And that's gonna be a great
Foundation.
For everything that you're doing.
And I would say when you wake up in the morning, do some kind of exercise.
Because I think
That is very helpful.
In
Getting your day started correctly.
What are your non negotiables?
In your life in terms of habits, routines, disciplines.
I wake up early.
And I work out every day.
That's
That's kinda my that's that's
Those are the minimum requirements.
In my life.
Train Jiu Jitsu.
I I
Don't get a chain train you just do every single day, but
If I can change jujitsu, I'm gonna train jujitsu, I'm gonna work out every day.
If I can surf, I'm gonna surf.
You know?
Um
I I'm obviously after work every day.
I I work every day.
doing something. You know, I've got a bunch of different companies
I got a
Write books.
Podcast, so I I I work every day.
Are you ever undisciplined?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Um
Uh chocolate chip cookies.
What
There are they're a a discipline.
Lapse.
For me.
Uh
Yeah. So yeah.
Mm.
I'm not a cyborg.
Struggle sucks.
Depends on how you frame it.
Right.
Depends on how you frame it.
'cause I'm thinking about you still
The beach the you know, and they say walk out joco.
Link arms and walk.
You described that as sucking.
Yeah.
But what you're also saying is there's huge value in
Things that suck.
On the the other side is something that sucks, is something worth
Cherishing.
I would say not just huge value.
But the value.
The value.
You wanna know if you're a
You're talking about young men that might not have any direction right now?
Go go do something that's hard.
Go try and accomplish something that's hard. You may win, you may lose.
You may succeed, you may fail.
I'll tell you what, you'll be better.
If you avoid those things that are hard.
If you don't accept that challenge.
If you don't
Step up.
And step into that cold water.
And you sit on your couch and eat Doritos?
I I I I can tell you this is not a good move.
This is not a good move.
Don't do that.
Don't do that. Just get up.
Move towards that challenge, whatever that challenge is.
Move towards that challenge.
And go attack it.
And you may be successful and you may not be successful, but you will be better.
And the next challenge?
You can be more prepared for.
And the next challenge after that you're gonna be even more prepared for.
And you're gonna fail.
And you're gonna fail.
And you're gonna fail.
And you're gonna fail.
And then you're gonna win.
And that's life.
Life without those challenges.
It's existence.
Don't just exist.
Go live.
What you just listened to was a most replayed moment from a previous episode. If you want to listen to that full episode, I've linked it down below. Check the description. Thank you.
Uh
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