UFC Legend Dustin Poirier: I Lost My Mind. I’ll Never Let It Happen Again.

0:00 I've had bouts with depression throughout my career, but man when it hits me it's bad. Which kinda brings us to the airport incident. Yeah. I really messed up. You and f her f What happened?

0:11 So it's Father's Day? And I felt good in the morning. I spent the morning with my kids, but then as I was traveling to work, I felt that feeling again. This like a cloud in my head that I just can't get out from under. So I started drinking. I'll fight you right now. No, I don't want to fight, bro. And my emotions got the best of me. Got arrested. Did I just ruin everything that I was working for? You know, I don't know yet. What was going on in your mind? Couldn't stop thinking about my father.

0:42 He's actually homeless right now. Can I try to help him out and He's back out on the street. Not that anything's an excuse. But it wasn't myself.

0:50 And I never really spoke about it until right now, but I'm back in therapy. And when you sit down with somebody and start opening things up, you realize This could be link to my childhood. And when I think about your earliest contact, you got father that's an alcohol, violence in the home. And your mum said that you were an alcoholic kid. I started drinking at twelve, thirteen. Expelled from school as well. And you got arrested and I didn't have any goals. So it was a bit of a roller coaster. But what happened? You rose.

1:17 Gun That was on top of the world. But the roller coasters go down too and this was the moment. Yeah, man. July thirtieth, you retired. How does it feel looking at that photo? Yeah, I'm try not to tear up, dude.

1:32 It was my life, man. Those gloves, me putting them on the mat is a piece of myself I left. But a wise man said, If a man's lucky he gets to die twice. That part of me that every day wake up push yourself to be the best fighter you can be is dead. I'm retired, Dustin. I'm businessman Dustin now. You know, it's just I'm trying to figure it all out. Cause the twenty years I was dreaming about being the best.

1:52 I just wanna dream again, you know? Has there ever been anything that compared? No, nothing fills that void of what fighting was. And fighting was a part of therapy for me. And some days I wake up and I'm like, these top guys that are winning now on these upcoming cards, I can beat them still. So is there any possibility that you ever return to the UFC? Guys, I've got a favor to ask before this episode begins. The algorithm, if you follow a show, will deliver you the best episodes from that show very prominently in your feed. So when we have our best episodes on this show The most shared episodes, the most rated episodes. I would love you to know. And the simple way for you to know that is to hit that follow button. But also it's the simple easy free thing that you can do to help us make this show better. And I would be hugely grateful if you could take a minute on the app you're listening to this one right now and hit that follow button. Thank you so, so so much.

2:50 Dustin Purier Yo. You know, there's a there's a question that we kinda throw around in society. Um we say it quite quite flippantly to people we meet, friends, family, strangers.

3:04 Um but but in this context I want to ask it in the most sort of intentional way. And Give me the long answer. How are you doing? As a whole, great.

3:18 Uh recently There's been some turbulence, you know. Oh But I'm I'm doing well. Doing well. There's been some turbulence.

3:29 Yeah. Give me some colour on that. I Last week. Which is not new to me. Like my emotions get the best of me, kinda was in a in a bad spot.

3:43 Uh mentally. Started drinking. Got arrested. You know, um Got into some trouble at the airport.

3:52 In Atlanta. And uh Yeah. Not proud of it. But

3:58 It is what it is. I wouldn't um Give some background context. And I spent the last couple of days sort of looking through your childhood and where you come from and who you are to try and fill The picture of

4:09 Dustin Poirier in my head. And I've got lots of photos of you. Here is a As a young man. Um And I think this was incredibly important context because I'd watched you fight the best that there is and beat the best that there is in the UFC. But it wasn't until I understood your earliest context that I started to like understand the picture of where you've come from. And also

4:32 In some part, like how that makes you who you are today. Uhhuh. So so take me back, what is the early context that people need to understand to really understand you as a man? Um I'm just a man. Uh trying his best, trying to provide for my family. Learning as I go.

4:51 Not scared to work hard. Not scared to chase dreams. Just a kid from Lafayette, Louisiana. Mm-hmm. Found to put his all into and and try to become great at it, you know?

5:01 With fighting. Your your father and your grandfather were fighters? My father boxed. Um Growing up.

5:09 When he was younger. My grandfather was in the navy and worked in the oil field and stuff. They weren't successful fighters. I wouldn't say they were like Nobody knew who they were. But definitely yeah, come from fighters for sure. And from money? Do you come from money?

5:22 No, definitely not. What was that like growing up? Was the it was normal to me'cause I didn't know any different, you know. Um It wasn't like I Missed a meal or anything like that.

5:32 But definitely wasn't. Wasn't rich or anything, or had Money to do. A whole lot of things when I was younger. Well A working class family.

5:41 Yeah. And your parents divorced when you were younger? Yeah. Yeah, I lived I lived with them. Up until about maybe. Kindergarten first.

5:50 First grade. Then they got divorced. Do you have any sort of mental models or mental images of them being together? When you're younger. Is there any memories of them being together? Honestly, dude, not to To be to turn it dark or anything, but

6:02 the early memories I have of them together are aren't the best, you know, it's fighting and Violence and stuff. Physical fighting. Yeah. Yeah. In that Instagram post you you wrote recently after the incident in the airport, you mentioned your father. You mentioned I think some of his struggles. He had his own struggles with alcohol.

6:20 Yeah, his whole life he has. Yeah, alcohol has ruined his life. And alcohol was present when you were a young man. Oh when you were still there. He's been an alcoholic my entire life. Did you have a relationship with him?

6:31 After the divorce. Yeah, of course. I don't know what that's called. Uh split custody or something where Every other weekend I would go to his house, spend the weekend at his house. H how did that season of your life, do you think, as you look back, shape the man that you became? Like that early context, under the age of ten years old, that violent parents, they divorce, they separate, your dad is struggling with alcohol. Like how do you look back on that?

6:53 As a grown man I look back and think my father was an idiot for Not being there with his kids, you know, as a father I think about that, like I I don't Waking up with my kids in the house running up to me, making them breakfast every day, like I couldn't

7:09 I'd I never want to live that type of life. I can't even imagine it. So as an adult and a father looking back on it, I think he's Made a lot of mistakes that You know, I think he still lives with.

7:21 And your mum? Uh huh. Got some nice photos over here as well. Um guess that's your wife. Um but she seems to have been um.

7:30 A a real constant throughout your life, that's her there. For sure. For sure. I'll be on vacation with her in a week. Yeah, look on my face. Mm-hmm. Her and my grandmother raised me. She was

7:41 You know, everything. Mothers are everything. And she's sh she still is, you know. Calling me, texting me every day, checking on me, asking how I am. You got two brothers?

7:52 So I have two brothers I grew up with. Two brothers and a sister I met when I was twenty five, twenty six years old. For my father. Mm. I guess I'm trying to figure out as well,'cause I I heard about what you were like in school, you struggled in school.

8:07 Yeah. It sound sounds like you got in a lot of fights when you were younger. Mm-hmm. Um I'm trying to figure out where that came from in you. Yeah. I mean, living in South Louisiana, we we fought all the time. Mm.

8:20 But I just kept doing it. I just kept going with fighting, you know? As a young man I I read that you were expelled from school as well. Uh-huh. And was that again for Fighting and struggling to

8:31 The one that got me expelled was a fight. And that seems to be a little quite a consistent pattern from ten to fourteen. Um Struggling in school, fighting. And then at fifteen.

8:42 I hear you that you end up in juvenile detention centre. Fourteen. Fourteen. Mm-hmm. What was the what was the road there? Weapon. I had gotten to some trouble uh at one of the times I was living with my father.

8:53 I uh Got into a fight. And h and physic hurt somebody in the fight and got arrested and uh I was on probation. At the time. And I wasn't going to school.

9:06 Got picked up for truancy and some other things like that for not going to school. And uh failed the drug tests. I was on probation at the time, failed the drug test and then I they sent me to juvenile detention. Were you drinking at that age? Yeah. At fifteen. Mm-hmm. When did you start drinking?

9:22 I was talking to my wife the other day and I was thinking about that, I don't know, twelve, thirteen probably. Hm. It is it is quite um it's quite curious to me that y you know Fourteen, fifteen, you're getting in trouble for fighting, you end up in a detention center, you're drinking from twelve years old. And it it like begs the question to me, as someone that's done lots of these interviews, like well what was going on in that in that young man's mind?

9:44 I don't have an answer what was going on. Um N not having anywhere to put my focus, not I wasn't trying to be the best at something I was just l living day to day doing whatever. You know, I didn't have any goals. I was a young kid.

9:58 You know, it's tough to it's tough to say to look back to that young and really say what I was thinking at that age. Um I've just been a kid, I guess. Were you a happy kid? Yeah. You were happy. Yeah.

10:09 And you were spending the week with your mother and then the week you said the was it the weekends with your father? The weekend or every other weekend, uh I forget exactly how it was. Yeah. And when you talk about His life being ruined by alcohol. What do you mean by what do you mean by that? I mean he has He's ruined his m marriages, he's ruined his relationships, he's ruined his his Friendships.

10:33 relationships with his family, with his kids. Two son, three well, my little brother kinda Is off and on talking to him, but he has two kids at Don't speak to him at all. And and won't.

10:43 Uh You know, he's been in jail plenty of times for for alcohol related stuff and Yeah. If I could paint a picture c what you think of of of a

10:55 Classic drunk, uh or alcoholic, you know, very selfish. Um And continues to go back to it. Continues he's actually homeless homeless right now. He's homeless right now. Yeah.

11:08 Me getting trouble at the airport was I just felt uh it's and it's not my weight to carry, you know? But I just felt I try to help him out and He's back out on the street, uh it's like it o almost doesn't want help, you know, and I was just kinda

11:23 On Father's Day I was travelling to work And I I just couldn't stop thinking about my father d and I started drinking in the airport and that's kind of What led to The incident.

11:37 It's just but when I feel like that Uh You know, I've been going to therapy and stuff like that. Years ago I started going to therapy and When I started feeling better, I stopped practicing everything I learned through therapy, you know. And uh

11:51 Then I felt that feeling again just in I guess to call it depression, just w didn't feel well. And when I feel like that I know I shouldn't drink. And I drank anyway, so you know Not that my father anything's an excuse. Obviously I did what I did. Um

12:08 But I knew b I knew better in the moment. when I'm feeling like that to to to drink or do anything, you know, alcohol has never benefited me, especially In times like that where I'm mentally Not the best. You use the word depression there to describe that feeling, to to give it a word. So let's use that word. Um

12:27 Can you paint a picture for me f in terms of what that actually feels like. That day that you wake up, it's Father's Day. You don't feel good. Like what is that? No, I I f I felt good in the morning, you know, I spent the morning with my with my kids, my daughter wrote me a letter, she gave me presents, you know, did all the Father's Day stuff. I had a gr a great morning, but then when I left my home to go I started feeling it. You know, and and Days leading up to that, it would come off and on, coming off and on and I would think about m you know, my father and It would kinda bring me down, but it wasn't

12:56 That bad. But for Father's Day it just hit me, man. It hit me hard. Because he's currently homeless. Yeah. Here in Louisiana? Yeah. Yeah.

13:08 I actually mean when I got out of jail in Atlanta and flew back home On that Tuesday. I got back late, maybe Tuesday. Uh Wednesday morning I drove to where he He lives or

13:21 Where he sleeps and uh went to the sheriff's office, got in contact with the coroner, had to do a whole process to s to sign a OP C order of protective custody. I tried to get him to pick him up against his will and and all this stuff, and they did. But I went at the wrong time, man. I went early. In the morning when I woke up And when they picked him up

13:41 He wasn't. Disorient, he was normal, you know. And uh So they released them again. What is the range of feelings and emotions you have towards him?

13:52 At the moment. You know he's always It's tough. And I'm not angry at him. I'm uh And once again, this isn't an excuse for my actions. You know, my father just came to a head on Father's Day.

14:08 But uh Just Upset to see him doing this to himself and not getting out of his own way and continuing to let it get just worse and worse. Progressively over the years when he when he knows better, you know? When he knows better.

14:28 I mean most people when You make a mistake or do s you try to fix it. You try to make tomorrow better than yesterday. You know Next year better than this year. Everybody just keeps doing the same thing and that's Because he's addicted to alcohol.

14:43 What is his story? I wish I I I knew more so I could tell you but Mm. been like a hard worker his whole life, you know, did whatever, worked in the oil field for a long time.

14:59 But uh check to check. His whole life. Um Simple guy, you know, was a really good athlete. In in school. got a woman pregnant at a young age in high school, so he couldn't pretend

15:11 Uh continue to focus and chase his dreams of Playing football. Um you know back then when you got a A girl pregnant. You got married and s got a job and

15:21 And things like that. So that's what he did. So that day you wake up, you you're feeling okay in the morning, it's father's day, you start thinking about your father, you get that feeling that you describe as depression. Yeah. Um which is just how what is that feeling? It's feeling You know, uh I've had bouts with depression throughout my career. When it hits me, you know, it hits it hits me hard.

15:43 And that day it hit me it hit me hard, man. you know, going to the airport. It just feels like everything is has a It's own gravity and it's gonna pull me towards the negative no matter what it is. It's like a cloud in my in in my head that I just can't get out from under. It it it's hard to explain to you unless you've been through it. That's what I try to tell my wife. 'Cause she's always so happy and so, you know. Which is a great

16:06 But like when I feel like that and it doesn't happen often, but man when it hits me it's bad. You know. It's bad. Do you remember the first time you felt that?

16:15 I don't but my wife, you know, me and my wife been together a long time. Since we were in the off and on through middle school and high school and all that. But she

16:26 She tells me don't you read it. She tells you don't you remember like I've always thought something you know, you never wanted to be around big crowds. Go to all the parties with me when I was younger and do all that stuff. Yeah, because I I just didn't Like to be around that many people that much. You know, I I Maybe it was uh

16:43 Anxiety I was dealing with. I don't know, this stuff is all new to me, so I'm just I would tell her how I feel and she's like, Don't you remember? So she thinks I've been having it, but I started noticing it, you know, more recently. And the last year. Years. Three, four years.

16:58 W was there a catalyst at all? A catalyst moment, something that happened that caused you to feel that or If I could link it to something, it was I lost a big fight. Came back home. Which fight. My second fight with Justin Gachie? Yeah. Lost that one, came back home, everything was good, and then it was just I was really emotional, man.

17:15 you know, some days I would be fine, some days I would be sad, and and I was like something's off, you know. Something's off. So that's when I started going to therapy and Trying to unpack some of the stuff that I didn't even know I was walking around with, you know? Did you learn anything through the process of therapy? I've been to therapy too. I've been

17:32 I mean it's a joke. I got back from Atlanta. I started going to therapy again. After the airport incident. Yeah. Yeah.

17:40 Right before I I went help try to help my father. Uh I went to a therapy. So I had kind of Close the door on therapy when I started feeling good again. You know, but then I'm starting to realize like it's not something that you just fix.

17:52 It's something you have to work on always. And you know. So And that's that's what I'm trying to do. You know, since For the last week I've been waking up early. Reading some stuff, writing.

18:02 Doing something hard in the morning, just trying to do everything that I was doing that made me feel better. Three years ago. And I'm trying my best, man. Have you learned anything about yourself through the process of therapy? Yeah.

18:18 That maybe some some of the childhood stuff I'm still carrying around. I don't think about it, you know, it's not like the first you know, but Right, right, right. But deep down. I'm still carrying. Things I think from my childhood and

18:31 Everybody you know, I've learned a lot through therapy. Everybody deals with different emotions and Process things differently and And I'm still going through it, you know. I'm back in therapy now. I I've I've been able to interview lots of people and so I've interviewed like psychologists, a lot of them, so many therapists I've interviewed.

18:51 the things that I noticed which was quite stark to me was that Um, young boys in particular that grow up without a stable father figure are much more likely to be Um have anger issues, be depressed, struggle in life. But it's actually The the data skew's more towards young boys without that sort of stable f father figure. Um, but also that if you compound that with there being violence in the home from a young age, that's also another factor which exacerbates the situation worse. So those are sort of two of the things that stood out to me was the absence of your father also having a a father or a parent that's

19:22 dealing with addiction is another burden for so many reasons. So those ki three things are the things that from your story and from you know, I've I thought, Oh, that's There's our um Those are challenges that are understandable to stay with you as a as an adult. Yeah, for sure. And and then you don't even think about Think about'em at all throughout your whole life, and then you sit down with somebody and start opening things up and talking about things, you say, Well, maybe I could be

19:46 You know, this could be linked to different things and I could be carrying stuff that isn't mine to carry and and things like that. You know, as I'm growing up and being more mature and talking and speaking to peop with professionals and stuff, I'm starting to unpack some of that. And was that difficult to do? Therapy? Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah. It's difficult to even say, isn't it? Right.

20:05 And even at the beginning, when I first started doing interviews like aerial Hawaii and stuff and I would bring it up like I'm you know, I'm working on myself, I'm going to therapy. I It felt weak in the moment, like who am I? I'm going to therapy. I'm telling the world I'm going to therapy, but then I I look at it hindsight, I'm like, you know what, that's that's strength. Uh you know Especially in a tough guy sport. Mm-hmm. You know, we're fighting in

20:26 Bleeding and beating each other up, beating the best guys up in the world, you know, fighting the best guys in the world and I need to go to therapy. To unpack some stuff. It just It's crazy. The human mind is Is incredible.

20:37 It's funny'cause we go to the gym, right? And we like work on our physical Yeah, performance. But going to therapy isn't we're gonna hide that as well. part of therapy for me. Fighting was a part of therapy f you know, for me. And uh And always w always was scared of that. You know, what am I gonna do to

20:53 to sabotage myself when I when I retire from fighting because I don't have this outlet anymore, you know, I've done it for twenty years of fighting, I always had somewhere to go, you know. I always had a To get better at the gym, to do to work on fighting, to focus on something. Every day I could get up and push myself to try to be better, to answer a new question, to do anything with fighting to get better.

21:15 On multiple levels, whether it's the techniques or whether it's my my physical fitness, anything, there was always something to work it on work on, always. And when I retired I was kinda worried about that, like how will life look? Post fighting. You know. Um

21:30 I was scared of it. I was scared of it. Because you I mean you've been fighting since you were what, sixteen, seventeen? Yeah. And you're thirty seven now, so it's

21:41 Just over two decades that fighting has been Your kinda North Star and your orientation. It was always there for me. Always there for me. You know, no matter what was going on, I could Go to the gym and

21:51 Drowned out any noise in my brain. Any You know, quiet that voice in your head. And I was scared to not have that anymore. And I I still have it. I can still go to the gym every day if I want, but it's not the same. You know, it doesn't feel the same.

22:06 It doesn't feel the same. fight someone for your life and your family's well being in front of the world. If I'm just training just to spin my wheels, it doesn't feel I've done this My whole life training.

22:18 Still fun to have fun, you know we Do whatever, train, but it's not the it doesn't feel the same to me anymore. Because there's not a goal a big goal at the end of it to focus your being. Exactly. Mm. When you look through the last twenty years, do you do you see fighting as a really productive distraction in some respects, then?

22:35 For me, yeah. For me a hundred percent. Yeah, it was an outlet. It was something to focus on, it was something to try to be the best at. It was It consumed me, man. It consumed me. Fighting was my

22:48 Entire life and now. post fighting, it's like separating myself From the fighters. I'm tr I'm trying to figure it out still. You know, a a buddy of mine told me the other day a wise man told him if you're lucky You die twice.

23:02 If a man's lucky he gets to die twice. And that's kind of what I'm going through right now. Now that That makes sense to me. You know, I'm that part of me That every day wake up Push yourself to be the best fighter you can be is dead.

23:14 You know I'm retired Dustin now. I'm businessman Dustin. I'm fat I must I was a father before b when I was still fighting, but I have other things, other hats to wear, you know, it's just I'm trying to figure it out. I'm trying to figure it all out. And it's only been

23:30 A year not even a year, yeah. July thirtieth, wasn't it, last year that you retired? Here in this in New Orleans. Do the do they offer you any support with that retirement process? As far as giving you uh a r like a roadmap for how to deal with the mental shift. No. There's no like sort of post fighting

23:50 No there should be. For sure there should be. But no. 'Cause it's quite a familiar story across sports. Right, and that's what I was always when I would see it happen. I knew I was like, I'm never gonna be that, you know? I'm never gonna be the guy that goes and gets arrested or gets hooked on drugs or Blows all of his money and just you know, y you see it over and over and not just in fighting and professional sports. You know?

24:13 It's like you've done something. So long your whole life, so intense and So You know, it takes all of you. When it's gone, it's like what else can I do to the maximum? What else dopamine hit can I get? What can I just

24:25 pour myself into and go crazy on something, you know, and then s a lot of times it's Bad things, dangerous things. You know, you see it time and time again, and I always said I'll never be that guy. And I'm not. You know, I ran into some trouble the other The other week what

24:38 I'm still making a lot of right decisions, you know what I mean? I'm not that. It just sucks to be at this point to where I always saw those guys getting arrested and doing stuff and I was like, Man, what an idiot. What an idiot, you know? But I wasn't going through it then. I didn't understand it. At that time. And alcohol has been a a constant through your childhood? Through your career? From me drinking? Yeah. No, I mean I

24:59 Probably every weekend, you know. But As I became an adult and focused on fighting, I went years without drinking. Okay. And then even now. Well, as I w when I retired, it slowly became more and more and more

25:16 Not half you know, when I was in training camp I wasn't getting drunk. And and drinking like that. I had to wake up the next day and run miles and be at the gym and make a weight and I was really focused.

25:28 Um But when I retired, I didn't have to anymore. So then it kinda started slipping back in. And even when I was fighting, you know, celeb celebrations, gatherings, I would drink. I would drink, but it wasn't a weekly. It wasn't a weekly or daily But I've always had a

25:42 Bad relationship with alcohol. Like I'm always Ninety percent of the times if I do drink I'm gonna Drink to be the best at drinking.

25:52 I'm gonna drink more than everybody, you know, and that's danger. It ca it can benefit you in other things that That drive and that craziness, you know, you can focus it on something and it'll benefit you. Or it can hurt you, you know, and that's that's the way I've always been. So uh

26:07 As learn learning myself over the years, I know You know, to be careful with alcohol and going through mental things, like I know, especially when I'm feeling the way I felt that day to not touch it, but I just told that voice to shut up and I just drank and did what I wanted to do, you know, but I I know better. Um

26:26 As I got o gotten older, it's gotten better, m you know, but until recently. I sat here with um a lady called Doctor Anna Lemke. She's like a dopamine expert. Uh and I actually didn't really know until she she sat here and explained it to me that Um alcohol gives you big head of dopamine. Yeah. Yeah. She also said to me that um sort of genetically, person to person, we all have a different vice. So for example, she said that she got addicted to erotic novels. Now another person would never get addicted to that.

26:54 Um some people's vice is alcohol, so they they do what you you described, which is they have one and then it's just straight line up until Yeah. Other people, like they can have one or two or three and it kinda plateau and they stop and they go home. And I envy them. You know I have my wife is like that. one of my good buddies is like that. They can have two drinks be done. If I drink, we're drinking till the bottles gone, you know, that's No matter how many times in my life I've said

27:20 It's gonna be different this time. It's gonna be you know, I'm only gonna have two It does it it's never Never worked out. So coming back home talking to my wife and stuff, uh I'm gonna cut alcohol completely out of my life.

27:33 Yeah. I made that decision. I'm not gonna be like my father or make another mistake like I made in the airport is just It's not helping me in any way. You know, it might be a quick release and a quick hit of dopamine, but it's not benefiting me in i in any way.

27:48 So I gotta cut it out. Cut it off from my life. No it's not an easy thing to do. With socializing and things like that, it's it's It's tougher.

27:55 To to be the sober one. But in everyday life it's it's not hard. And for me. You know, I've n I've never been an alcoholic. I just have a bad relationship if I do drink. So cutting it out completely is You know. Not a big deal.

28:08 So t so take me to that day then. You wake up, you go to the you go to the airport, you're flying to Atlanta. You're going you're going somewhere. Where are you going? Atlanta. I'm going to uh To South Florida. It was actually a three leg trip. I was supposed to go to South Florida. For a day. That afternoon fly out.

28:25 Go to LA. Shoot a commercial for three days from LA, Vegas. Work for CBS. For the weekend. And then fly home.

28:38 So it's a three it was a Yeah three leg trip. We didn't we didn't even get the first leg. We didn't even get the first leg, man. There should be a button just down below here. And if it says subscribed, you're already subscribed. If it says subscribe but, that means you're not yet. And if you're not subscribed, please could you do us a favor and hit that button. It helps the show more than you know. And according to the algorithm, you're someone that watches our show, but you haven't yet hit that button. Thank you so much.

29:04 What happened? What the sequence of events. On my flight from Lafayette, Louisiana. I drank two champagnes. Nothing crazy, you know, just Um landed in Atlanta.

29:18 Had a little bit of a layover. Went to a bar. Restaurant bar. Started drinking champagne. Some guys came in

29:29 Took some shots, one thing led to another. Go to my gate. Get into it with the desk agent. They call security, call the police. Do you remember g what you said to the death schedule? No.

29:41 No. The police didn't tell you after? No. So you didn't even get on the plane? No, I never got on the plane, I don't believe, I'm pretty sure. Ninety. Okay.

29:49 Ninety percent sure I never got on the plane. Um Then it might have been that. the desk agent might have s saw I was intoxicated. It's like no we can't get on this plane and that's might of what started it. I don't know.

30:01 But I do want to apologize. To those desk agents, whoever they are. And the police for having to put up with me, man. They did it. I actually

30:11 Uh asked a lawyer in Atlanta who I've been working with. If you can, please give me that officer's Information, his address. I wanna If I could write him a letter if his cell phone if I can call him. Just to tell him how

30:23 great of a job he did, you know, dealing with an The person that Condition and How professional he was, and You know, he's incredible. It could have been so much worse.

30:33 It could have been so much worse. I just wanna thank him. I didn't get to do that. So there's some kind of argument with the desk agents that you I'm guessing you can't recall. No.

30:44 And then they say you're not getting on the five. And that leads to them calling. The police. And the video. Security guy coming in. The police officer, yeah. You've watched the video, right? No. So my wife watched it.

30:59 A buddy of mine w I've kinda pieced it together at this point. I don't wanna see it, man. You don't wanna see it. I don't wanna see it. Okay. I want to see it. Even when my wife started playing it. And I heard it. She went and watch it in the other room. And then I have a buddy I work out with five days a week. He's kinda uh between him and my wife I've put the pieces together and pretty pretty much know the

31:19 Why don't you want to watch it? I just don't want don't want to see it, man. Can you articulate why that is? Uh to see myself in that condition disrespecting Police officer disrespecting Oh.

31:33 workers at the airport, disrespecting myself, disp disrespecting my family. I just don't feel like it's gonna benefit me to see that. If anything, I think it's gonna Bring me down, it's gonna be a little bit more. I'm gonna keep thinking about it. Uh I'm Like I said, for the most part and understand what happened, know what happened. I don't need to see it again.

31:49 Yeah. So in that video you You seem to get Aggressive quite quickly. And you you offer this um

31:57 Gentlemen. A fight. Um, he kinda backs off. He knows who you are clear straight away. He backs off. What I find i interesting also is He pulls out his taser, he's gonna he says he's you know he's might tasy, but as you walk away and you're arrested, you dap him up.

32:14 And you you you congratulate him on the job he did. Yeah, that my buddy was telling me that. He he was telling me like his my buddy's wife thinks that's the best part of the business. You're known as Yeah, so I didn't watch the video at all. And I Every day passing, I'd be able to piece it a little bit more together and memories kinda, you know, flashes of what happened are kinda playing in my head. But uh I I got home.

32:42 deleted all my social me I posted that on Instagram, then I uninstalled all social media off my phone, so I haven't since Father's or the day after Father's Day. I haven't been on anything. I haven't seen I know They're making fun. I know they're talking about me. I obviously I've been in the Light with being a professional athlete for a long time. I know how this goes. Um So I just uninstalled all my stuff. So I haven't seen

33:02 Any of the clips, any of the videos, any of the anything. You know, besides what my wife and my buddy are t uh tell me. Your buddy that you train with. Yeah. Yeah. Well it was it was uh it was interesting'cause you

33:12 You seemed as you walked away you were quite polite. Realize what was going on, you know, maybe I Had a Aha moment. Like what the hell is what am I doing? You know, in that drunken stupor.

33:25 I don't know. You said to him that he did a good job. Which was quite nice. Right. Looking back at it now.

33:37 With the what they're t what they're telling me and the way he Handled it. He did a great job, you know. I need to thank him. 'Cause like I said, it could have been so much worse. What if it was a young hothead cop who wanted to be a superstar or wanted to You know

33:50 It could have been horrible. You know, I could be sitting here facing serious charges. And just to put my wife and my children through that, you know, just Yeah. It's not good.

34:02 You so you went to jail that day? Yeah. You got charged with being drunk and disorderly or intoxicated. They charge me with uh Public intoxication. Okay. And they let you go the same day. Yeah, spend like a night. Spent the night.

34:17 Or the afternoon. In jail until I sobered up. And they release you on probation or something. I'm not a well. What's it call I don't know what the laws are here.

34:26 I haven't been to court and all that stuff yet, so they just know they own bond. Okay, on point, okay. And that's when you go and you know, after then go and You do the therapy session, you go and try and find your father. Yeah.

34:38 All these trips are cancelled, I'm guessing, at that point. Yeah. You have to go home and speak your Wife. Right. Right.

34:45 Can't be easy. It wasn't fun for sure. You know, to let her down and It's just been so long since I I don't even know how to address it really when I when I got home. I d I haven't been in trouble, haven't been arrested in so long, you know, decades and decades.

35:00 I don't I don't even know when's the last time I got arrested. This is the first time in a in a very long time. But to go back and My my partner who's been with me through everything and and Has grown with me through everything to go back and like

35:16 See her face to face. Yeah. I just keep apologizing. And it'll never happen again. If I'm a fly on the wall during that conversation when you get home, what what do I observe?

35:29 Me telling her. It'll never happen never happen again and Her telling me it can't happen again. You know?

35:41 Oh. Yeah, man. Telling her that I'm gonna focus on myself and and be better from this. I know it sucks right now in the moment, but This decision, this

35:58 Arrest this quit drinking f for the rest of my life. It's gonna benefit me and my kids in the future. So things happen, you learn. Um And that's just what it is.

36:10 Yeah. You met uh Jolie. When you uh Fourteen years old? Younger. Younger, really. Yeah. Fourteen is is

36:19 Like a freshman in high school. Mm-hmm. We were dating Uh in middle school. And in many respects she's really um she sacrificed quite a lot for your career. A lot.

36:31 She dropped out of college and moved with me to South Florida. Uh for me to chase my dreams. 'Cause she was going to nursing school, wasn't she? Yeah. Yeah. And I honestly don't think I would have made it

36:47 to the point I made it too in in fighting if I didn't have an anchor like that at home, you know? Yeah, she'd been my best friend for a long time. Yeah, so to go home after getting arrested and speaking to her and like Not only did I let myself down But

37:16 I have a family. You know. I have kids. Oh. I love my family down, man. That's what hurts.

37:22 This is another beautiful. But the gang. That's them. Yeah, I mean I let them down, let myself down. But Like I said.

37:35 I'm gonna learn from this and Continue pushing forward and it will never happen again. Um It's gonna affect the trajectory of my whole life. This one This one arrest you know.

37:47 My my son and my daughter is never gonna grow up and see me intoxicated, they're never gonna See me say things or do things I don't mean to do or mean to say, you know, so Like I said, it sucks, man. It's it's bad. Um but

38:01 It's gonna benefit me and my family in the long run. So it's just something that had to happen, I guess. So sh did she know what had happen before you got back from jail? Had she seen videos or No. She hadn't. The police officer called her. Mm.

38:18 When I was in uh And a holding style and stuff, so yeah. She knew what was going on. She didn't know in the moment. Yeah, she probably knew a couple hours after. Yeah, once they book me and all that.

38:27 Mm-hmm. I've got sixty seconds and I'm gonna show you how much I can get done because of our sponsor called Whisperflow. And for those of you that don't know what it is, it's a business I invested in that turns your speech into text in any app or device. I'm gonna post into our Slack channel, which rewards whichever team member conducted the most experiments this week. Hi, everyone. Here is this week's experimenter of the week. Congratulations to the Directo trailer team. Which is ant, live, dom, and cam.

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40:29 and use the code DOAC twenty five for twenty five dollars off your membership. What's interesting is um. You know, we've seen these kind of incidents happen before. But I've I've never seen Such a large amount of people.

40:44 Understand. You'd expect the reaction to be from the general public, from fighters, from people at large to be Oh my God, this is a bad person. But I think because you've conducted yourself in a certain way throughout your career. That wasn't the sentiment. I'm not seeing what people are. It wasn't a sentiment, I can tell you. It was like it was crazy. I was like I was saying it to my fiance, I was saying like

41:04 The reason why the sentiment has been He's going through some things and this is a good man. is because A you've conducted yourself so well throughout your career. You've had good values in victory and in and uh and in loss. But also I think because you actually spoken about some of these struggles publicly?

41:22 I've never bit my tongue. I've always been open, you know, about What I'm going through when I was able to Pinpoint and talk about what I was going through when I didn't know I couldn't speak on it. But as I got older and started doing therapy, I'm able to speak on it and Yeah, I am going to

41:38 things at some some days, you know. Um Well that's what I'd say to you is Uh I know you've not looked at the Internet, but The internet. It's been h heavily supportive of you.

41:48 And you know my I think a lot of that probably is long time fight fans and people who've been following my career a long time. You know, I grew up in fighting, so people got to watch me from a kid You know grow up so they they know my character for the most part. It was a bad day. It wasn't you know it's not a bad life. I had I I messed up. I had a really bad day.

42:07 I was angry at the world and Obviously alcohol doesn't doesn't help that. And uh I really messed up, but people have seen me Year after year. And I I mean well, and I really mean it. And I think they they know it's authentic and

42:21 But I am just a human being and I make mistakes. So I think those fans, if people are sticking out for me, it's because they they know uh It's Dustin, like I'm gonna he's gonna shake back or he he's gonna, you know, turn this into a positive somehow. And that that's my goal. You know, I don't wanna let anybody else out there down. I'm trying my best, you know, I I have to take care of myself first and I'm doing that. The right steps and That's that's just it. I think

42:45 The people who Or standing up for me. I've watched me grow up. You know? Well

42:51 Uh dare I say I think that was the majority of the sentiment was that This is a a good a good man who's who's struggling and it was people sending sympathy because Because of that, but also because There's a couple of clips that went viral. Online of you speaking on both Thea Von Sho and Joe Rogan's show.

43:08 And so in the in the in the wake of you know this clip going viral of you in the airport, these other clips go viral with them, which is you Oh, you haven't seen it. Okay. I mean obviously I did the I did the interviews or whatever you're talking about, so I said it. So I'm sure if you showed it I would remember, but I haven't seen what people are talking about. Well this clip went viral at the same time. And this is what gave it context. Have to. Yeah.

43:30 You just there's no If you get complacent or if you why what I'm like it it's honestly bro, I'm a danger to myself when I'm have nothing, no no goal circled on my calendar, I'm a danger to myself, man. Yeah.

43:41 Yeah. I beat I beat myself up mentally. Uh I'm home, I drink, I'm It's just not good. I have to have some kind of battle. Yeah.

43:49 Hm. And I've always been like that. But like as I'm getting older I'm kinda recognizing Oh, you can see it more. Yeah, so I kinda set set goals so I So that clip we'd borrow. And there was a a clip just like it. Um

44:01 of you on Joe Rogan, which is you saying almost identically the same thing. Which also went viral with it. So This gave everybody context. And so you see that and you go, Okay, we understand and I think we're now You know, we're old enough and mature enough to understand that once a pro athlete

44:16 Leaves. the high octane, high adrenaline sport like UFC. That your brain has changed. For sure. And

44:25 Not least because of the dopamine, but also, you know, there's other reasons why. There's there's head injuries are quite prevalent in in the sport. So there was a huge amount of sympathy. I just wanted you to know that,'cause I know you've not seen it, but I mean I still feel horrible, but it You know, and not even using fighting or head trauma or

44:43 My homeless father or any of that stuff as an excuse. I just wanna say that like I did these things. I know better. I know right and wrong. I don't wanna lean on these as a crutch of of my actions, you know what I mean? And the other

44:57 The other clip that when Just so you know. Just so. 'Cause these this is you and Joe Rogan talking about similar thing. On the show what I was talking about. It's like a gift and a curse, man. It's like you have to be all in at something. Those kind of people who are

45:10 Built like that. Whether it's fighting or Drinking or whether it's good or bad, you're going all in. It's dangerous. The problem is like we see with Connor. When they don't have the fighting, then they go all in with the other things. Yeah. Fighting was always for me always pulled everything together, you know. That's why like retiring is scary, man.

45:31 Days are long. I have a lot of time. It's I don't have to get ready for a fight. I don't you know you're still a young man, too. You still have a whole lot of life ahead of you. Thirty seven, man. Yeah, so it makes you think like what do I do now? What do I do with my future? What do I do with what do you want to do? Dude I kinda got like For a a week or so I wouldn't say depressed, but I kinda got into like a funk, like what the hell am I gonna do with my life? Every day I would wake up for the last twenty years How can I be better fighter? How can I what's new in fitness, how can I push myself

45:57 I want to be the champion and then boom you lay the gloves on and you wake up and you're a fucking civilian. And that's meant that your you know, some of your your fellow fellow peers like John Jones have come out and said some really nice things and other fighters have come out and said some really nice things and sent their support and You know. Well wishes. I appreciate it. I'm where I'm working on myself.

46:14 I'm trying my best. Were you aware that John Jones had had done a post and stuff and buddy Carl said The guy who I work out with every day I'm talking about, he told me the John Jones Came out and said something and it was positive.

46:26 Mm-hmm. He said uh Matt Brown as well of a former fighter. did a video, he said it was really nice and stuff. And I'm sure I'll see some of that stuff. I don't want to like Yeah, relive the moment that much. I don't want to keep like diving back, but when I do get back on social media or do start watching videos and stuff again, I'm sure I'm gonna see s some of it. You know and I appreciate everybody, but

46:47 I'm I just It feels weird to You know I'm I'm not looking for for that. for sympathy or for to make this okay. It's not okay.

46:59 You know. Mm. You know. It's not. But I I think the reason I'm sort of really keen to tell you is once upon a time we didn't really understand mental health. And so people were thought to be crazy or whatever when they acted out of character. But I think the world has gotten to such a place now where

47:18 We we think about context a bit more. And this was really it was really nice to see for me. Um, having done a little bit of background research as well, to see that people's first reaction Wasn't just to villainise somebody, it was to understand. people actually went, Oh no, this is someone struggling with the

47:34 Mental health. It's not a bad person. It's about mental health. situation. Um

47:42 Which I've actually not really seen before, which was As I say, it was really nice. But I know you I know what you're saying. You're saying you you don't want to blame anything. Right. I don't wanna blame anything or have a crutch to lean on abo my actions or about what happened, you know, I did it. Yeah, I'm not not blaming it on

47:56 Mental health or Anything like that, even though I'm focusing on that now. You know, I I did I Did that. I decided to drink that day when I wasn't feeling well. It's it's all on me.

48:08 So is it kind of a bit of a roller coaster? In your world post fighting. In terms of your mental health, is it ups and downs and ups and downs. Yeah. B time. And w what is the

48:21 I made the right decision, you know. Yeah. I need to be home, I need to be Doing things around the house, I'm gonna be here every day with my kids making the breakfast. And then some days I wake up and I'm like, What the fuck am I doing? I can beat all these guys still.

48:37 You know, I can still beat these guys, but I don't know if that ever leaves. I might be sixty year old having coffee one day saying the same thing. I could beat these guy. I don't know if that's just a competitive spirit. I don't know if that's just fighting your whole life. I don't I don't know, but I these top guys that are winning now and and fighting now on these upcoming cards, I can I can beat them still. Yeah.

48:59 I know I can. And then I wake up the next day and I'm like ha Good thing I don't have to fight these guys anymore. And the next day it's like Okay, I can

49:10 I can be the world champion. You know, it's it's just up and down every day. And how does your your mental health sort of correlate to those ups and those um thoughts? Even though I have those. days where I want to fight and uh think I made the right decision. My mental health has been pretty even, you know, up until recently, I I haven't

49:30 been worried about myself for having to go to my journal and sit in the morning and have coffee like I've been doing this last week, you know? But I'm not sure. When I do start feeling a hundred percent normal Okay again.

49:44 I need to continue to do those things, you know. I can't I can't Stop. Because I feel good. It's it's a constant. It something's going on with my brain. Like I have to Practice these these things every day. And now being removed from the incident.

50:00 Remove from my three years ago when I felt really bad and I was in the dark place. I'm realizing that. Like it's It's n not a Eureka moment where you're fixed. You gotta this is every day work for the rest of your life, most likely, I I'm pretty sure.

50:16 Or was it you said in recent times. In recent times that was like the The boiling point on Father's Day. Um but there's been days, yeah, there's been days where I've Not Express to my wife how I'm feeling and I was feeling down or

50:31 The last two months. Couple few months, yeah. You know? Where you haven't expressed to your wife how you're feeling. Yeah, some days I will tell her, but some some days I I don't.

50:42 You know, I just continue to go along my day and Yeah. So I don't wanna be that guy to where I wake up and my wife's worried about how I'm feeling that day away. You know, I don't want her worrying about me like that. I wonder who who's waking up today is is

50:58 Depressed, is upset Dustin waking up today, or is this my normal husband I'm waking up to I don't want to worry her. So some days, you know, if I'm feeling really bad, which hasn't been that often lately. I'll tell her I'm you know, today I'm not Feeling that well. I don't want my daughter coming in the b in the bedroom, you know.

51:15 Why's that staying in bed all day? You know, she doesn't understand. I have a she's about to be ten years old. She Can't comprehend what's going on. I can barely comprehend it, you know, so To keep them more on a steady

51:33 Day to day thing. If if it's Just slightly, I'm kinda feeling a little bit off today. I just Suck it up and go about You know my business.

51:42 But there will be days where you s you stay in bed all day. There has been, yeah. And you try and sort of Uh avoid the conversation with like your daughter. Yeah.

51:53 It's not it's not often, but it happens, yeah. Do you find that if you don't talk about it, it kinda comes out in other ways? Well you battle it up so long until it finds a way out, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Which kinda brings us to the airport incident, I guess. Could could be. To some degree. Right, but even The airport incident, those days leading up, even if I did have an off day. Uh

52:15 I didn't feel like it was that. That bad, that serious that dangerous to myself or anybody else. You know, I d I really didn't feel like that. Mm. It's an interesting thing. I've I've often actually contended with when I'm having like

52:30 Bad moments do I tell my partner so I can really relate to the feeling? I think as a as a man sometimes you want to be You have it within you that you need to be strong and steady. Especially with like my fiance, I'm like I have to be strong and steady. So if I'm having a bad day or whatever I

52:45 I feel like I have to keep it to myself, but then it always finds a way out and it hurts her. Like it'll hurt the relationship. So actually I've I think with wi with age I've gone actually to avoid all problems. Be honest, as fast as you can. Right. Yeah. Honesty is always the best. It's always the best.

53:02 Is that kinda how you feel as well with it, or is it similar to the thing? For the most part I I am really open and honest, but like If I'm just kinda s And it's for me to do it. I know you don't understand what that m what that means or maybe you have

53:15 Something you can link it to when you feel kinda just like today's not Mm-hmm. Not my day. If I'm feeling off, I'll let her know. I've been pretty honest. Like I said. If it's just slightly I'm just not feeling right, I won't If it's slight, I won't I won't s even bring it up. I gotta

53:30 Be a dad and continue to do things every day and Stuff like it. But if I'm feeling really down Where I don't even want to leave the house at all and stuff, you know, I'll I'll let my wife know. On this point of purpose, w when you were talking to Thea and Joe, it was you were saying that, you know, the purpose you had for twenty years has now gone so in its place

53:47 Y you kinda need to find something else. You need to figure out what what's in its place. W how are you thinking about that today? I retired at thirty six years old. That's Young. So you know, like I said, the days are long. I have

53:59 All day, every day to I need to stay busy. And that's what I have been doing, you know, working with CBS, working with uh The podcast we have down in South Florida every Monday. I've just been trying to saying yes to as much stuff as I can, so I'm don't have time to sit back and think. And that could have been my demise as well. Maybe I was being too busy. Maybe I wasn't focusing on my mental health and myself as much. You know, it's easy to get lost in these whirlwinds of

54:23 busy and be here, be there, you know, it Life just moves so fast sometimes. Do you have a plan for for for what you want to commit yourself to. You're thirty seven now, right? So I mean you got another fifty fifty years ahead of you to

54:37 To climb other mountains, potentially. Right. No, I don't have anything locked like locked down on what I'm gonna do exactly What I'm gonna focus everything on, but I need to find something, man. Has there ever been anything that compared? No, nothing ever will. Nothing. I have a void inside of me that nothing will you know.

54:55 Being a father is very fulfilling and and I love it. And it it's it's rewarding and I actually enjoy it. But nothing feels that void of what fighting was in my life. You know, I haven't found anything yet. I don't think there is.

55:13 You don't think there is. What's gonna Consume me and take. All of my so The way f fighting did.

55:21 You know, I woke up thinking about it. I went to sleep thinking about it. I It was my life, man. I cared so much about it. Man, I was in love with it.

55:36 You can still play a role in the industry though, no? Yeah, and that's what I and that's what I thought I was, you know. trying to do. That was my goal after fighting is I wanna stick around the sport Whether I'm on the desk broadcasts or with the podcast anything

55:52 Containing to the spore where I can talk about it. You know, be around the sport that's given me everything I have and taught me so many lessons in life. I I just want to be around it, speaking about it. being on the mats helping younger fighters, whatever. You know, and and I was doing and I was doing that when I retired, you know. I'm still doing it.

56:10 But it's not the same. No. How does it compare as a Percentage is it? Twenty percent the way there, fifty percent the way there, or

56:19 Probably closer to twenty. It's not f it's not even fifty. Yeah. Have you spoken to other fighters who are not going to be able to do it Have expressed the exact same sentiment that like fighting was the

56:29 The Mount Everest for me. And I don't know what to do next. Not really to that e to that. Exact point, but other fighters have reached out. And said hey you know, I'm all I'm all ears if you ever want to talk about it. I went through it as well, you know.

56:42 Laying the gloves down isn't as easy as you think. People who I look up to you have reached out to me and and uh I never took anybody up on it. You know, I've never s started speaking to other fighters about what they do to get past. And I should. You know, it's all it's My my doing. Yeah.

56:57 'Cause it's not an it's not a new problem, is it? No, this is a Everyone uh but lots of people have expressed. Right. And it's not just a new problem with fighting, it's a new problem I think with a lot of athletes. you know, who've done it for a long time and reached the the pinnacle and you know, when it's over

57:12 You know, you you have a lot of life left to live. I've heard similar sentiments expressed from some of my friends that were in the military. And then left the military thirty six, thirty seven years old and It's like that was their Everest. That was also the cum camaraderie that they had being in camp and uh being in in on base and stuff like that and going away being deployed and then they come back and uh A civilian all of a sudden, right?

57:33 Right. Difficult. Yeah, man. But that's life. Life's difficult. You know, it's just Gotta figure something else out.

57:41 You know, gotta figure f solve a new puzzle. It's just life keeps going. You were going off to work when you were Caught up in this airport incident. Yeah. How are you thinking about work prospects and stuff like that, considering all that swirling around at the moment and all these things? Worried about losing everything I've been working on.

57:58 You know? That's is a possibility as well, you know? Um Like post fighting, when I retired, all the stuff that I've been doing, all the

58:12 The desk work, that me focusing on getting better at all that stuff. I'm like, did I just ruin everything that I that I was working for? You know, I don't know yet. It's still too too early to really Have those answers, I think. Have you got sp like sponsors and stuff like that, or is it just the your partners that where you do guest work and podcasts and stuff like that? No, I have a bunch of sponsors. Yeah.

58:34 It's kinda murky right now. I think it's still too fresh. I know uh One big one isn't a sponsor anymore. Oh, you lost a sponsor. Oh yeah, I'm l I'm sure I lost a a few. Um Waiting to see when the smoke clears. Who's still with me or not?

58:47 That day cost me Not only Embarrassment and embarrassment to my family. Uh it cost me a lot of money too, you know. Yeah.

58:57 I'm I'm gonna I'm losing sponsors, I'm losing gigs, and losing things that I had set up. Yeah. You're losing gigs you had set up in the future as well. Well we'll we'll see. Obviously the gigs.

59:08 The three things I was supposed to do that that week. Or or gone. And then the a big sponsor of mine is gone. Because of it. And of the um of the commi the professional commitments you have coming up, what are those kinds of things that you have? I know you s um you said uh in an interview that I watched that you'd reached out to

59:28 Was it Paramount? Oh. With them, aren't you? You work with them, yeah. But you'd reached out to them to say, Listen, I wanna sharpen my skills. As a commentator? As a desk analyst. And so you'd reached out to them post you know, post retirement because you wanted to get more and more into that. I just thought it was really cool that you proactively reached out to them and said, Listen, I'm here.

59:48 Yeah, if you guys think that would be a good fit anywhere on a broadcast or anything, I would love to Talk about Fighting and talk about this sport as it continues to grow with what I've learned through the

1:00:00 Two decades of doing it. You know if if I can be a voice in this area, please let me do it. And they and they did, you know, and I told them like I'm coachable. I don't have no hard feelings. Like if I'm doing something wrong, please let me know. I'm very you know,'cause a lot of these Other people who work the desk come from a media background or things like that. Of course we have a lot of fighters but who work the desk, but a lot of these other people might not take criticism and coaching as well as somebody who's been coached their whole life. So I don't I'm letting them know like

1:00:28 If there's something I'm doing that It's not the right etiquette. It's not if I if I can do something better, please let me know. Coach me. I'm not it's no judgment. You're never gonna rub me the wrong way. Please let me know. I wanna be good at this. That's what I was trying to let them know. Well it's cool. It's cool'cause a lot of people they they come in with a lot of ego. Um especially if they've been at the the the the peak of their power with some one profession. Yeah.

1:00:49 They kinda don't want to humble themselves enough to be all the way. talking on T V and talking about fights and and things like that is a whole new thing. So I wanted to Learn as much as I can. And you have a contract with them? Yeah.

1:01:02 I did, we'll see. Oh, you're worried that it might not be It could be. Yeah.

1:01:12 The desks. For the fights. Okay. Well I hope they all stick with you. We'll see.

1:01:18 I think on the in a few weeks I'm back. on the podcast. So I know they're bringing me back to the Monday podcast. We talk about fights every Monday. In two weeks I'll be back. on that and so we'll see if that continues, you know. Y you know, the other thing is you are you are young, you're thirty seven, I'm thirty three. And uh

1:01:35 Yeah, but yeah. That's how I can I can almost relate. It would be like if my career was was wrapping up in a couple of years. Like my main you know, but I'm in the I guess my career is business, so y I can kinda do that forever. Well, for sure. But if I if I had to if I'd spent the last twenty years of my life, I've spent the last fifteen years of my life building businesses. So if I wrapped up in a couple of years' time and I had to change profession?

1:01:58 And I couldn't do what I've done for the last twenty years anymore? Gosh. That's what athletes go through. For sure.

1:02:05 They climb the mountain and then aging happens and they get older like we all do and then they have to say, Right Brand new mountain. That doesn't happen to most people in Most Creek. You kinda just keep climbing up. True. I never thought about it comparing it to other other uh careers. Do you enjoy the the desk work? I really do, ma'am. Yeah.

1:02:22 That's why I'm scared to lose it too,'cause I I really enjoy being connected to the sport. You know, this sport has, like I said, given me everything I have. Me and my family Everything we have is through fighting. Just like John Jones, where marginal improvements in your cognitive performance can have a massive impact. Sometimes I podcast for ten hours a day. Over the last couple of weeks I've been in filming for a TV show and I have like one or two days off to get all of my work done, which means there's lots of cognitive load. And so I turn to ketones because I find myself more articulate. able to think more clearly, able to work out better when I'm fueled by ketones. And so the reason I became a co-owner of this company and the reason why they now are a sponsor of this podcast is because I remember one of my team members called Christiana, she tried it once and came up to my desk and she goes, This is the best product ever made. And I think in part that's because she really cares about those cognitive benefits, as I do, as John Jones does, and as I think most of my listeners probably will. So if you haven't tried these yet, all you have to do is go to ketone.com/slash Steven, and you'll also get thirty percent off your first subscription order. You'll get exclusive ketone IQ merch. And of course

1:03:25 Cognitive benefits that might just change your life. If there's anything we need, it is connection, especially in the world we're living in today. And that is exactly why we created these conversation cards because on this show, when I sit here with my guests and have those deep, intimate conversations, this remarkable thing happens time and time again. We feel Deeply connected to each other. At the end of every episode, the guest I'm interviewing leaves a question for the next guest, and we've turned them into these. conversation cards. And we've added these twist cards to make your conversations even more interesting. And there are so many more twists along the way with the conversation cards. This is the brand new addition, and for the first time ever, I've added to the pack this gold card, which is an exclusive question from me, but I'm only putting the gold cards in The first run of conversation cards. So get yours now before the limited edition goal cards are all gone. Head to the link in the description below.

1:04:20 And this is obviously a bit of a personal question, but it gives useful context is at thirty seven years old, you're thinking as a man, you know, I've got to provide for my family for the for the next thirty, forty forty years potentially. Are you are you set up sufficiently?'Cause there's a lot of talk around fighters not getting paid that much in the UFC as well. I mean uh the career I've had. Yeah. I don't have to work another day in my life. Really? Yeah. Oh, congratulations. Thank you.

1:04:42 Well done. 'Cause a lot of people also they go out and they you know, we hear the stories of A little too many watches. Or gambling or whatever it might be. I need to stop gambling, that's what I need to do. I told my wife the other day she was like

1:04:56 She's like I just paid some bills. I saw you made another deposit to the gambling thing. I was like I can't cold turkey everything. Give me one let's go one thing at a time. Couple steps up on the list. I got some other things I need to stop doing first.

1:05:09 Well, if you can take care of yourself the rest of your life then you know All good, right? To have fun still. Sorry. A lot of pe a lot of pe a lot of fighters, a lot of people generally can't say that.

1:05:20 When they leave. But I've always you know, I have a few businesses in in Louisiana and elsewhere. I've always planted seeds my whole my whole life. You know, I started investing when I was twenty three years old. You know, before I was even making real, real money. I was investing what little I had I always plant these seeds because I I knew

1:05:37 I couldn't fight forever. It was gonna end any Any m I know I could get in a car accident and never fight again. It could end any day with fighting. I knew that. So I've always planted seeds to try to Have my future Taken care of. You know, always.

1:05:52 Well since a young age. Smart. Actually When I was like eighteen, nineteen, I told my wife I'm not I'm not gonna fight past thirty five years old. And I almost hit that mark. I was too young to at the time when I told her that.

1:06:04 Mm-hmm. too young to see the f you know, full picture and know how my career was gonna play out, but Uh Thirty six I I hung it up. But I told her from a very young age, thirty five I lived half my life and I have a whole nother life to live at thirty five. I can go to college. I can go I can do do be whatever I want to be. I have a whole nother life to live. So I kinda always

1:06:24 Angled at thirty five. Just to pivot. And that was the moment. Yeah, man.

1:06:31 That's the moment where you retired. How does it feel looking at that photo? Man, these are my brothers in this picture, man. I can see the emotion in your faces. Yeah, my mother's back there and

1:06:43 I mean, this is my family, you know. All these guys are my family members. It's a special day. And I got to do it in Louisiana, you know it meant a lot to me. It m really meant a lot to me.

1:07:02 Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I was just a kid chasing dreams and it just f flew by so quick. Yeah. And I g I guess that's a part of me that's Oh.

1:07:17 Scared. For the future is I don't I don't know. You know, for twenty years I was dreaming about being the best. I just want to dream again, you know? I don't know what that dream will be. I just need that in my life.

1:07:30 Whatever that is. Yeah. Special day, man. So many emotions in your face as you look at that photo. Okay.

1:07:50 'Cause it just makes me feel that way. No. 'Cause I still love it. But I know I need a Walk away from it. could you know continue walking away from it. But I still love it. And like I told you, it's like a piece of me

1:08:08 Like those gloves, me putting them on the mat is a piece of myself I left. You know? I I really f truly believe that. You know, I was a kid when I started this. A five life.

1:08:41 No, it it taught me how to be a man. It taught me how to do business. It taught me a lot of things about myself. I didn't go to school. Fighting was my my education. You know? traveled the world and met

1:08:57 People and set of tables. I would have never dreamed of be you know, sitting at. Through fighting. Uh it was just an incredible journey. You know, uh

1:09:09 But if I can go back in time. So when I was a kid, sixteen, seventeen. If I could Do it again, I would do it again, even knowing everything that what could be what damage I could take.

1:09:21 I would do it again. That's how fun the ride was. But nobody rides for free, you know? That's why I'm saying I would do it again. the the damage, the

1:09:36 Ups and downs, the unknown. Nobody rides for free. Whether you're working clocking in at a job, working in a office th for the your whole life, you know? Or your Fighting men all over the world.

1:09:49 Uh We're exchanging something, you know. For something. So I I would do it again. Just glad I got to do it here in Louisiana.

1:10:05 You know where it all started. Yeah. That was special to me. Yeah. Because UFC doesn't come here often.

1:10:15 To Louisiana. The time that came before my retirement was back in twenty fifteen. And I'll fought on that on that one as well. to get'em to come back here just for my retirement was a big deal.

1:10:30 And I'm proud of that and proud of bringing it back to the city, you know? I have a game room at my house and I have this. The UFC actually sent me a retirement picture big picture frame with the My wife, my daughter.

1:10:45 Their name was on the canvas for this fight and I didn't even know. the UFC printed their names on the on the canvas of the octagon. So they cut them out of the thing and they have'em framed in a in a nice uh shadow box with pictures from the fight and their names and stuff. That was that was really nice, man. So I had this Picture hanging on my wall. In my game room, in my house. I got actually I need to call Mike this guy here and this uh Mike Brown. I need to call him back. He tried to call me and he's been texting me the last few days.

1:11:13 I'll need to call them back, letting them know I'm good, you know? Mm-hmm. I'm Silence in every call, you know, and not just I want to talk to people since Father's Day.

1:11:26 Well I need to start. Let me reach back out. There's a lot in your head, isn't there? Fo seem to have teleported you back in the yeah.

1:11:39 Think about the guys in the picture, seeing my mom in the background, you know. My friends. Incredible night. And it hurts me a little bit like to To be sitting here talking about getting arrested last week, like it feels like such a fall from grace, you know, looking at this picture.

1:11:56 Like I was on top of the world. in this moment. Felt like I did it all the right way, you know. Even had the UFC Oh

1:12:08 Place an I try. I did it my way when I was walking out the octagon that that night. And uh Yeah, just It's life. That's life. That's life.

1:12:25 Sloth, it's part of the um part of the hero's journey is the The ups, the downs, the redemptions, the all of it. And everything you teach. in my objecti uh subjective view, difficult. It was a real challenge. You got a father that's an alcoholic, the violence in the home. growing up in a you know in a working class area

1:12:45 And you rose. From that. Look what happened. Yeah, it was beautiful. And then look at me.

1:12:51 And then w the the roller coasters go down too. And that's why they they're so good when they go the opposite way and such and And so this is just an for me, this is maybe just the platform of Your next era. You know? For sure, whatever that is. I'm I'm here for it, but uh

1:13:06 I'm just learning and living. No and Try my best, just like everyone else. It's incredible though what you've proven that you can do. You know, from the

1:13:19 Honestly. No B S look you in the eyes. Like I feel like anything I set my mind to I can I can accomplish. I can make it happen. You've done that. Yeah. You don't need to look me in the eyes and no BS me. You've you've done something that, you know

1:13:35 Very few men could ever ever accomplish, especially considering where you came from. So I think I am quite excited to see what you set your mind to next, because if that's what you're able to accomplish. By thirty five years old or something. God only knows what you could do with the next.

1:13:50 Two decades of your life if you aimed all that energy at a equally terrifying goal. I would love to. That's what I need something terrifying. I need something like that. Something that Mm. I can't stop thinking about.

1:14:02 Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you've got the mentality that few have, right? Like So accomplished this. You've got something.

1:14:11 the core components to be wildly successful, as you say, w with whatever you put your mind to. So I'm not scared to work for it. You know? Hang up the gloves. My wife was. Yeah. Nobody else in my family know.

1:14:26 Welcome. She was pregnant. She was uh a couple months away from giving a few months away from giving birth to my son. Um I had been doing it for a long time.

1:14:39 We just kinda both knew it was about the time, you know. You said you were scared because of the the void of purpose that would be in your life. um thereafter. But I've also heard you say you're scared of like the the brain Injuries that p fighters often get. In the wake of

1:14:54 Any sort of contact support. I had the the great privilege um of interviewing Arguably the world's leader. On C T E

1:15:03 Mm-hmm. And for people that don't know, um, CTE is a progressive brain disease caused by repeated head trauma leading to abnormal protein builds up, which lead to brain decline. Older adults with a history of traumatic brain injuries have a 230% greater risk of developing um Alzheimer's the nose without. Um sixty one percent of UFC fighters stated they worry about potential long term brain damage. With w with a good percentage, about twenty one percent noting differences in their brain function. after their fighting career. And lastly, a two thousand twenty three study found that more than forty percent of brains from contact sport players who died before the age of thirty had CTE. I I think I heard you say that you were

1:15:43 Concerned about brain damage or brain trauma from from fighting. Yeah, pa Part of me laying the gloves down, like I said, for my wife wanting me to, was because She was kinda Worried about my behavior a few years back and I s I went to a neurologist and

1:15:59 did a scan with contrast where they put the dye in your brain and your veins and do all that stuff. And I have I had some Uh You know, changes in my brain, but we don't have A passport of Before

1:16:13 Or throughout the process, you know, we just have a pi a snapshot of right now of my brain, but yeah, the doctor, the neurologist told me that You know it has to be post humorous. You put a chemical on the brain, it releases a protein, you know if you ha So We won't know until I pass away and they

1:16:31 Study my brain if I if I have it or not, but the doctor was telling me like You know, looking at the things you have going on, like I can't say you have it, but Your wife was noticing different behavior. Yeah.

1:16:44 Just like emotional and It's it's not a conversation people have a lot. About CTU. I actually I only learned about it about a year ago when I interviewed this person and I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that um athletes that are doing contact sports, kids that are doing American football.

1:17:01 Oh Um and not only fighting, I play football All my youth. You know? As well.

1:17:09 So I'm sure my head's been rattled. A good bit. I have a brain scan here, which is really for the listeners at home to show them what what advanced CTE looks like on the brain. But it is these kind of like plaques that kinda build up in the brain from contact head injuries and what the symptoms of that are often mental health disorders. They are Um and there's a spectrum of addictions also sort of uh associated with CTE. People sometimes see boxes, for example, slurring their words and such and

1:17:34 That's also within a sort sort of s s same family and category of C T. Yeah. But but but as you say, it's not something you know when you're alive and they have to post honestly look at your brain and check if you ha if you have it. And what did the neurologist say that it was a little bit abnormal? I have a Scoring and stuff, uh I'd have to pull out my phone and find out. The exact

1:17:54 Terminology for the parts of the brain. At at whatever part and I have a you have a septum in your brain, like your nose. Yeah. And um my sept septum is is splitting a Separated a good bit.

1:18:09 And that the neurologist thinks my left and right side aren't communicating As smoothly as they should because of the separation. And they suspect that that's to do with head trauma. I mean We don't we don't know. Do you feel different? And it's a strange question to ask, but have you noticed a any difference in

1:18:26 in your s in your yourself other than you know Yeah. The differences one would experience when they left a job that was that significant. No, uh, besides like Ups and downs with mood and stuff like that.

1:18:39 The things I kinda notice, uh I mean all uh Being honest, like Spontaneous decisions, I I notice like if I'm

1:18:49 Like fuck it, I'll just put five thousand dollars on this bet right now. Like just I wouldn't normally do that, I th I feel like, but maybe it's just who I am now, I don't know. Or Mm-hmm. Same fucking I'm gonna get Drunk.

1:19:01 as I can right now in the airport just You know I I I feel like That is like spontaneous decision making. That I wouldn't normally do, I think, but maybe I would, I don't know. If we're talking about brain trauma and like decisions I made or ways I feel, I'm sure I can draw

1:19:18 Links to all kinds of stuff. You know, we I don't even know if it would make sense or would would be correct. You know, when you're scrambling for answers, it's easy to like draw lines and say, Well this is because of that, this is because of that. You know, I feel f I feel normal. Besides the ups and down days and stuff like that, I feel Mm. I feel normal. Um so Is there any possibility that you ever return to the UFC?

1:19:43 If you had to plot it as a percentage. Five percent. And since you've retired, has that percentage gone up or down, do you think? Progressively. Down, I think. Down, okay.

1:19:58 And down, I think. Because I would have to Reinstate. First of all, I'd have to get my wife on board. Then I'm gonna do another training camp and do this again. Uh, but I'd have to reinstate myself in the drug testing protocol and I think I'd have to do like six months of clean drug testing before I'm eligible to compete again. So that would be another six months. You know, it's just a lot of hoops.

1:20:18 To jump to j jump through. Mm-hmm. And your father. Difficult, difficult, extremely difficult, um layers of emotion. It's funny, you know, we've all got people in our life well, a lot of people have people in their lives where They've watched them struggle with addiction. They've tried to help them.

1:20:35 They can't make sense of why they won't accept the help, why they won't change. They know they're doing like I've heard it's a such a familiar story. What's the latest with him? He was latest with him is Two days ago he was Sleeping in his truck.

1:20:52 Uh behind a business. How did you find this out? Oh you have a When I got uh This is

1:21:01 Father's Day week. This is a My sister sent me this. Somebody Who she knows. He was parked. My dad was parked at the

1:21:12 At the park. Um Somebody snapped a picture of him. Getting out of his car. He's he's so he's got his top off.

1:21:27 Oh gosh. No shoes. No shoes. My sister actually gave him that truck that he's living in. God. And we're still working. We're still working to to get something.

1:21:48 Get him to do something or Admit himself do just to help himself, you know. Sorry, I'm so sorry. I mean that's life. But to see your father like that, you know, it's just like Damn, yeah. Is alcohol.

1:22:04 Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. Does he do he does he do other types of jobs? Never smoked a cigar in his life, never smoke. Marijuana. Doesn't take

1:22:13 Like Just alcohol. Mm. We're trying me and my sister are trying to His other

1:22:21 His other kids. Don't want anything to do with him, but me and my sister are trying to Get him right. And my wife's. Super on board, like trying everything to to

1:22:32 But if if he doesn't want to help himself, we can only do so much, you know. But like I said at the beginning, that's not my weight to carry, you know. I'm trying my best. I'm a father now too. I g I gotta Look out for me and mine. I I can't

1:22:45 Babysit my father. You know? It's um It can often drag people. Down themselves.

1:22:54 If they try and save Someone. From themselves. Yeah, dude. I almost lost my mind on Father's Day. I'm I'm the the guy you're talking about. Yeah. I know it because it's a good person in this regard where I had to sit with one of my Close relatives and

1:23:08 Um, I could see that they were destroying themselves trying to save someone else. And um They are the only person in this family that I'm talking about. that have made that decision to try and save this person and they are paying the price. They are sick, they are upset all the time, they're like they've got constant despair. Whereas all the other siblings in that family have thought, Fuck. Yeah.

1:23:28 And it and it would appear that they're living more peaceful lives because they've said fuck it. But because of this person's heart. They're unable to Just cut it off and let this person go. Yeah. Is there part of you that's that's worried that some day you're gonna get a call and it's gonna say I've been waiting for months. Every day I've been waiting. I know I've

1:23:46 Me and my wife Talk about this all the time. Like every time I get a call about my dad from my sister or something, I'm like Just waiting for the you know, waiting for the news. He's not in good health and he's Seventy four, seventy five years old, like

1:24:00 Mm. Or tell him if he's eating and I don't know. You know, uh every call I was like, This is the one. What did your mum think about this? About your father.

1:24:13 Wow, I mean As of most recently, she didn't know. She didn't even know that he was homeless. I I told her recently. After all this stuff happen, you know I I

1:24:23 Explain to her that he's She's just sorry that I have to deal with this and You know? She got remarried and then yeah.

1:24:33 Yeah. Okay. So what's next? Vacation with a family. Where where you have two.

1:24:44 Thirty right here in Florida, thirty eight. Go on vacation with my family, sit in the sun with my kids and family, just have a good time, man. Stay off the internet. Mm-hmm. Continue to work on myself.

1:24:58 Mm. Have good mornings. Mm-hmm. That's it. Well, you know, I know you're not looking at the internet, but I just wanted to let you know that the Internet's been really kind. There's a lot of really, really cool. Good. That's actually why I wanted to do this interview as well.

1:25:15 I just wanted uh I hope hoped we could be a bit of a platform for people understanding the like complicated nature of mental health and purpose and addiction and alcohol and all these things that through doing this show I've been able to sort of piece together myself. I've probably interviewed seven hundred people now. You don't find many new things. One of the most crazy things I've learned from doing the show is like, Oh fuck, we're all the same. Yeah. We all struggle with the same things at the most fundamental level, you know? So For sure. You know? And uh

1:25:43 We're all excited to to see What it is you put your your great talent and your mentality and your obsession to In the next season of your career. 'Cause whatever it is, you know.

1:25:54 Thank you man. It's gonna be incredible. Yeah, I just gotta find it. And continue doing it and continue working on myself and And please be patient with yourself. Yeah, I mean patience is a virtue I w I wasn't blessed with, But I'm working on it.

1:26:07 I'm working on it every day. Every single day, man. We have a closing tradition where the last guest leaves a question to the next, not knowing who they're leaving it for. And the question left for you. Is dear next guest.

1:26:20 What are you doing to improve The world. Trying to leave it better than I found it. But then leave it a better place than I came into. With it. Everything I can.

1:26:37 You know? Oh. For the most part. Making the right decisions and Showing that people do care.

1:26:50 Trying to be a good You know. A person who cares about people and stuff like that. That's what hurts me too, man, is Me doing that I wasn't I wasn't myself, you know.

1:27:00 I know it's easy for me to say and try to hide behind Like Drunkenness or mental breakdown and all I feel like all those are excuses. Like that's people who know me know that's

1:27:13 That's not how I roll, man. I just feel Bad about it'cause that's my my intentions are always Ninety nine point nine percent of the time good. You know, and to hear about The video and everything I did and

1:27:27 Yeah, just Hurt myself, man, really let myself down hard to look in the mirror. At times. Uh But I'm a continu.

1:27:37 Continue doing what I was doing. Before this happened. You know. Leave the world a better place. Then I found him, man.

1:27:46 And teach my kids to do the same. And in two thousand eighteen you did um start The Good Fight Foundation. Yeah. Um You and your wife?

1:27:54 Um After clearing out your old fight gear and auctioning it off to support Lafayette families. You started this foundation and you've actively been involved in In in the charity. Um I I I went on the website and saw you driving delivery trucks and packing school supplies in the kitchen. Um But also I saw the work that you've done in Uganda.

1:28:14 Fighting. Kids in Uganda with multiple new water wells as well. And you were at thirty years old awarded the first ever Forest Griffin Community Award. The award presented annually by the UFC to recognize an athlete's exceptional Volunteering and charity. Work. Mm-hmm.

1:28:29 And you didn't have to do that. Yeah. Especially at such a young age at sort of twenty eight years old when you when this all began and Um, if people do want to go and check out the foundation. I'm gonna link it below. Um it's called The Good Fight Foundation.

1:28:42 And I looked at the mission statement on the website, et cetera. It's exactly what this question asks, it's how can you do good for other people in the world that need it. Right. And I've I truly honestly One hundred percent believe I'm doing it, you know?

1:28:54 I think it's using the platform I built. Through hard work to benefit as many. people as I can. You know, uh fighting was gonna benefit me and my family.

1:29:03 Every time I walk to the ring. So Why couldn't I uh my mindset was why couldn't I stack more on my back? And go in with a a cause and sell everything I wore that night and benefit a family or benefit a person or another organization. I was like, let me stack up as much of on my back as I can and keep this momentum going. Um With the foundation, but

1:29:24 When we first started it it it wasn't I didn't auction off everything I wore to the Octagon. We didn't link it to goals. It was just kinda random. We were packing up my house moving from Lou South Florida back to Louisiana. Mm-hmm. And we had all this stuff and We just saw a news article that a police officer. Got killed uh couple of streets.

1:29:41 where me and my wife went to school a couple streets away from where we went to school and he left behind a wife and and kids Officer Middlebrook here in Lafayette, Louisiana. And it was like well we we're packing up the house. What about all these gloves and fight shorts that you fought in on these big fights? Can we sell maybe we can sell it and donate to his family? And that's what sparked the whole Foundation starting.

1:30:01 We did it for Maybe a year, two a year and a half, two years just out of my name before we made it a actual nonprofit. We were just ebaying fight warn stuff and donating it to the food pantra, donating it to this fallen officers' family. And then it turned into let's let's keep this going and see if other fighters would get behind this and give it a name so it's not Dustin Poi does this, it's the Good Fight Foundation, so more people maybe get behind it. And it just kinda organically. happen on something I'm very proud of. I mean

1:30:28 In a in a couple of weeks we have The backpack sc back to school drive we do we do. Probably thirteen hundred backpacked with Every school supply on the school supply list for Louisiana. Wow. Yeah, it's It takes it takes everybody to make these goals happen, man. Not just the monetary side, but the

1:30:46 going in this warehouse and pack in every single backpack. 'Cause we stretch the dollar with this foundation, you know, we don't have any Paid any b everything is and we try to keep it as minimal as as possible to keep everything affordable. So we buy bulk Backpacks.

1:31:00 Break all the pallets down to backpacks, bulk. Flash cards, everything that goes in the backpack for the school year, we buy bulk and have to pack every backpack ourselves. It's something that really Enjoy doing. And I'm happy I have a platform to to do it and r raise awareness and

1:31:18 You know, no kid should go to school without a That's just one of the things we we've done annually, but no kids should go to the school without The property school supplies they need, you know. Mm-hmm. It's crazy. So just small stuff like that, you know.

1:31:30 We're just trying to make a difference. Well if anyone wants to donate. You can go to the Good Fight Foundation. Um, I'll link it below and uh they're doing incredible work, so it's a wonderful thing, wonderful cause. And as you say, you run it in a very lean way so that you can uh optimise for doing more and more good. Dustin, thank you so much. Thank you, ma'am Thank you so much for being such a class act and thank you for agreeing to ha have me interview t you today. It's a real honor. Um, you're a legend in my eyes for so many reasons, not just because of the man that you are, but because you climbed impossible mountains. And also the way that you conduct yourself after fighting, which is a real it's really like inspiring to me.

1:32:03 um the values, the integrity, the orientation towards family, towards doing good. And actually To being Openly human. Definitely. Definitely in that's my first time living life, man. The good, the bad, and the human. And you'll you're willing to

1:32:20 Honest and open about that and it um There's lots and lots and lots. I know this sounds like a crazy thing to say. But that airport incident. is gonna help a lot of people in a lot of ways that I don't think you'll ever get to see indirectly because of um What I think is gonna come from it.

1:32:35 Thank you, man. Hope you're right. And I'm an open book I'll Talk about it and Talk about my struggles and I hope it does help somebody. Thank you.

1:32:44 Thank you.

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